A Work in Progress Always

Jump and Grow Wings

2012-01-17T18:31:00.000-08:00

It is always a little tempting to look back at your life's timeline and say hey that was a good life and define yourself by the things that you have done. I think my life has been varied and pretty exciting most of the time so it leaves me with a sense of satisfaction of a life that pretty much met my oscillating needs for excitement and peacefulness at distinct times throughout.

But because I am satisfied with the way life has emerged to this point does not mean that this is all it will ever be. I hope to have lots of time left, and I remain open to what could still be.

In my best moments I trust that I am where I should be. And in my darker moments I wonder where I am.

I welcome change with open arms. That has always been one of my inherent truths. But as I age, change tussles with the status quo and seldom wins. I think the easy way to change is to have a next step. The tougher way is to know that change is needed but that there is no obvious next step. Now the decision is a little harder and staying where I am is easier than moving on. It is easier to leave a job to go to another job but harder to just jump into the abyss and hope the universe takes care of you.

I have a history of success despite jumping into the abyss many times. So why this distrust. This belief that somehow this will be the time that I fail.

I have been in this place before where I was looking into the abyss and not quite trusting that I knew how to fly. But I did. But do I know now how to fly. Was that the confidence of being young and believing that there is always something else. Should I not now have the wisdom of being older and the experience of having grown wings over the abyss.

I can tell myself that there is always another option if the first one goes awry and I actually believe it. But do I? I still can't jump. My teenage son went skydiving for his birthday. When he sat at the door of the plane for the first time his instructor, sort of, no actually pushed him out of the aircraft. And because of that he had the experience of a lifetime. So maybe I need someone to push me out.

New Things are Hard

2012-01-09T19:22:00.000-08:00

It is interesting that no matter how much we try to focus on doing new things we always revert back to what is safe and comfortable. |We profess that we would like to shake things up a little by stepping out our groove and trying something new.

But that old familiar demon of fear stands before you with hands on hips, and challenges you on why would you want to do something new. Why shake the status quo? Why move out of this comfy little spot that you have worked so hard to create? Why try something that you don't really know how to do?

And you know that little demon is loud and intimidating and so you go back to that small place that you have stayed in for a very long time. You go to work, watch television, sleep and eat and maybe, just maybe get to the gym here and there. And you long to rattle that cage that you have created.

So, we need to challenge fear. Most successful people say that they feel the fear and go forward anyway.

Fear of not succeeding, fear of looking foolish, fear of regretting a decision that you cannot go back on. Life is full of these choices and we all make some wrong and some right.

But staying in one place and not making a decision to change, is still making a decision. A decision to stay where you are. A decision to not grow. A decision not to try new things.

That makes not deciding almost as scary as deciding doesn't it.

Most people on their death beds regret the things they did not do, not the things they did. Hmmm.....

10 Reasons to Try Something New Every Day

2012-01-02T17:31:00.000-08:00

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new". Albert Einstein.

Two years ago I shook things up by trying to do something new every day. It was challenging to find something new every day but two years in, I have accomplished about 650 new things. (That is 70 short to compensate for the less than motivated days that creep in here and there. On those days old habits feel like just the right thing.)

These 650 new things ran the spectrum of trying a new wine to reading a new genre of book to trying a new menu item in an old restaurant. I took a Photography course to learn about all those cool buttons on my camera, I started a second blog, ran a new race that I had never gone into before and went cycling in Wine Country with friends. I ran on a new path while running, and tried new spices in new recipes. I spoke to people I might not have spoken to.

So you see some of the new things were simple and instantaneous; others took time and commitment. But all of them took me out of my comfort zone even if it was just a tiny step out! Admittedly though, I also did about 600 things wrong. Because when you try something new you make a lot of mistakes.

And although that was not the reason for my quest, it turned out to be an amazing lesson for that safe little person who never likes to fail.We all start out trying new things when we are young. We try them with the excitement and abandonment of trying something new that is inherent in that age of discovery.

As we get older we learn not to embarrass ourselves by doing something wrong and so we back away from things that are new and different. We learn to value what others think over learning new skills. And so we stop learning and recede to our safe little status quo. We do not try new things so we do not make any mistakes. Life is safe and maybe the days start to look the same. And you wonder what happened to that exciting try almost anything person that you used to be.

So here are 10 really good reasons to Try Something New every day.

1. It is exhilarating to try something new and different and see it through. To accomplish what seemed to be hard. There is no other feeling like looking back and realizing that you have this new skill in your portfolio.

2. Having multiple skills in your portfolio makes you interested and interesting. (which are two different things.) You get jobs that you would not have gotten, you speak with people that you might not have had anything in common with and you go places that you did not even know were out there.

3. One new experience leads to another and the sequence takes on a momentum of it's own, taking you on one adventure after another. After the initial month or so new things start leading to other new things and the natural inertia that originally made this difficult, falls away.

4. It takes the sameness out of each and every day. You might say that you like the comfort of sameness but really that is inertia and that old comfort zone that you prefer. Resistance. Staying in your comfort zone. Most people when they blast through that initial inertia become addicted to the variety and stimulation of the path to trying new things.

5. Trying new things gives you new found energy and it compounds itself as it takes hold. Energy breeds more energy. When you get stuck in a rut you lose touch with your personal energy. It emerges again when you try new things. And it comes roaring back when you begin the quest.

6. Trying new things does not cost anything but gives big returns. We spend a lot of money trying to soothe the restless self inside of us. Trying new things does not cost money but stirs your soul in ways you could never have imagined.

7. Trying new things feels awkward and uncomfortable and exciting and pleasant all at the same time. You plan to do it. Then when the time comes to do it, you wonder why you set yourself up for all this worry and discomfort. You feel the need to retreat and cancel. But you must go forward towards that thing you fear because the other side feels so great!

8. Trying new things makes you grow as a person. You just cannot do 650 new things and still remain the same. Your life is propelled forward in new directions and to new places. Big changes for small initiatives.

9. You can change your life in repeated small ways. Huge changes, especially at first, are too fearsome to fathom so they never get done. But small ones do. And small ones accumulate to big changes. And your confidence in your ability to handle change grows as you accomplish each small change. So you become confidant that you can handle increasingly bigger changes. So you try them and succeed and your confidence grows.

10. Small changes let you make small mistakes and you learn that making mistakes is okay and that your world did not come undone because something did not work the first time. Your natural instinct when something does not work is to put it away and not try it any more. When you get on a path of trying new things, you expect to make mistakes and so you just keep failing your way to success.

It turns out it is fun! Making mistakes. Laughing at your attempts. Trying new things. Growing and changing. Learning. Living. Gaining confidence. What's not love about this process!

Try one new thing each day. Make them small at first so you can feel the vision of what bigger things will bring. Record them each day to keep you accountable and not to let too many 'same' days slip by.

The Watchers

2011-04-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

Mark Nepo is a genius at putting words on paper that succinctly describe a multitude of feelings. He is easily able to describe things and feelings in ways that I feel, but am unable to describe. In his book The Book of Awakenings I am repeatedly awed by his ability to do this.

In his September 3 passage, he speaks of growing up under our parent's and teacher's watchful eye and then going forward in life and feeling as if they might still be watching. By then we have internalized their watchfulness and made it our own. "As I reached adulthood, the habit continued. I walked around constantly troubled by what others must be thinking of what I was or was not doing. In this, we are burdened with the seeds of self consciousness. From this we trouble our spontaneity and the possibility of joy by watching ourselves too closely, nervously unsure if this or that is a mistake."

I loved this passage and it puts words on a feeling that runs in the background and self monitors our actions and words. There is a trade off in that it makes us monitor our behaviour for success and acceptance where we wish it to be. It is only as we grow tired of behaving that we seek to escape 'the watchers' as he calls them. To feel the spontaneity that has succumbed to the need for propriety. As we age and see the world from a different perspective we realize that no one is really watching. Those we thought were watching have their own life tales unfolding. And we also see that if people are watching to judge, it really does not change us or our place in the world.

We need to laugh out loud, dance and sometimes behave outrageously to really feel our freedom from our self-watch. We need to try new things without concern for who is deciding whether we should or should not be doing it. We need to have new experiences without being fearful of making mistakes.

"Now the audience of watchers is gone and I can feel life happen in its quiet, vibrant way without anything interfering. Now, sometimes at night, when the dog is asleep and the owl is beginning to stare into what no one ever sees, I stand on the deck and feel the honey of night fall off the stars, feel it coat the earth, the trees, the minds of children half asleep, feel the stillness evaporate all notions of fame into the unwatched space that waits for light."

His way with words takes my breath away.

Our Greatest Achievements Are Ahead...

2011-04-20T08:20:00.000-07:00

Marti Barletta is head of a marketing company Trend Sight Group that consults with companies who seek to market to women. She has determined that women, especially those in their 50's and 60's wield the most purchasing power due to their role in both the workplace and family and their comparatively high disposable income.

For all the amazing strengths that this company brings I still find a singular quote that Marti makes as one of the most revealing and motivating statements about women at this point in our lives. She says that we "experience the joy of being, relish liberation from expectation,rock our world, brim with confidence and live life in drive, who feel our greatest achievements are ahead of us." Amazing in this simple sentence and between each set of commas is a unique profound thought, each segment of the sentence worth thinking on.

We "experience the joy of being". For all its advantages, being young just never let you feel the joy of just being. Or maybe it did, but we were too filled with angst and expectation to really see it for what it was. A deeply thought filled, peaceful, joyful state where there are no expectations or performance requirements and we can see and appreciate a moment for just what it is. We need to expand those moments so they fill a greater proportion of our day.

We "relish liberation from expectation." A whole lifetime of doing what was expected of us from our early years to high school, to marriage and children and jobs. A now we just want to define what it is that makes us tick and shed the shackles of expectation. A virtual explosion of joy each time we are able to make a small change in the process of liberating ourselves from the demands and expectations of life as it should be.

We "rock our world, live with confidence and live life in drive." Get out of the passenger seat and drive. Where was it you wanted to go? What was it you planned to do in your private dreaming moments? We get to find those dreams and create them now. Not easy. Scary...a little. But exhilarating to go towards them. I love that 'rock our world' phase. How long has it been since something has truly rocked your world? Brings us back to the quest for safety and conformity that eventually becomes the self created box in which we live our lives.

In his book Awakenings, Mark Nepo shares an enlightening passage that applies to how we live. This entry is for January 9 in his book and it is called "Life In the Tank". I will quote the passage in order to do it justice. "It was a curious thing. Robert had filled the bathtub and put the fish in the tub, so he could clean their tank. After he'd scrubbed the film from the small walls of their make-believe deep, he went to retrieve them.

He was astonished to find that, though they had the entire tub to swim in, they were huddled in a small area the size of their tank. There was nothing to contain them, nothing to hold them back. Why wouldn't they dart about freely? What had life in the tank done to their natural ability to swim?".

You can, no doubt see the analogy to how we live our lives. We work hard to establish this safe place in the world and then at this point we need to work really hard to shed our quest for safety and move into DRIVE. "Rock Our World!" And the truly amazing part of the phrase is "who feel our greatest achievements are ahead of us." That is simply the most exciting part of the quote. Because the typical view of this stage in our lives is that our best years are behind us. But that does not need to be true. She shatters the typical view that our years ahead should be a gradual slide into old age. Is it possible (and a bit exciting) that our greatest achievements are yet to come? It changes the playing field to think like that and it changes how you look at your personal future. And it makes you accountable to create what could be. Drive!

If you want to read more of the life changing stuff by Mark Nepo:
The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have

For those of you who would like to read more by Marti Barletta PrimeTime Women: How to Win the Hearts, Minds, and Business of Boomer Big Spenders Marketing to Women: How to Increase Your Share of the World's Largest Market

Yoga Rocks!

2011-04-15T10:17:00.000-07:00

I have been attending Yoga classes for a month or so now and I think I now have a modicum of experience which allows me to share my first impressions. Having spent my life participating in sports with a harder, faster, stronger ethos, yoga always seemed to me to be a sidebar in my life. Something I would eventually get to, but never did.

I have now attended a series of yoga classes with different instructors, on the advice given to me by a woman at my club. She had suggested not making my judgement on yoga until I had tried a series of classes with different instructors.

One class I went to seemed focused on muscle strength and the ability to hold tentative poses for a long time. I figured that since I lift weights this would be easy. But it wasn't. And when we did the exercise designed to move you closer to being able to do the splits, I realized just how inflexible I have become. And I thought, I want to do that. I want to be able to do the splits again.

Another class focused on multiple short poses seemingly designed for opening up parts of the body that are seldom stretched in real life. It was amazing. We did a pose with the blocks which opened up my spine and chest area and it felt so good, I could have held it forever.(See below)The instructor was young and assumed that nobody knew the poses and so it was great for a beginner like me.

And the third instructor took us through a series of contortions that I found difficult to coordinate. I followed it exactly through the whole class and thought that this went against all the ideas of what yoga should be. Complex, difficult, and always thinking. And I realized that it is a combination of my learning curve and stretching parts of me that do not get stretched that was causing me to lose my Zen. But after the class, as I went through my day, I felt amazing. My body felt limber, and seemed to be there at my command.

Despite all my different abilities in fitness, I have never achieved that mind body congruence that was hinted at in my first month of yoga. I now understand what all the excitement is about. I like where the first month and eight classes have taken me. From skeptic to zealot, I think I will continue with this and see where it takes me.

Here is a great pose for stretching a part of your back that until now was only attainable by a visit to the chiropractor. You will be surprised at how effective it is. And you can replace the blocks with anything soft like towel stacks.

Image compliments of Elsie's Yoga

Do You Like Me?

2011-04-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

I find it interesting that in all my interactions with people, I seek to leave them with a positive impression of their time with me. It is not something I actively work on, but something intuitive that compels me to create positive feedback from each person I come into contact with. It tends to make my life more pleasant in general because most people appreciate the effort and reciprocate. But it is a win some, lose some kind of game. Because not everybody shows the same deference to this civil mode of interaction. I am fascinated and slightly envious of people who do not have this compulsion though. John Tierney writes in the New York Times of a quote from Jeffrey Miller of the University of New Mexico. “We evolved as social primates who hardly ever encountered strangers in prehistory,” Dr. Miller says. “So we instinctively treat all strangers as if they’re potential mates or friends or enemies. But your happiness and survival today don’t depend on your relationships with strangers. It doesn’t matter whether you get a nanosecond of deference from a shopkeeper or a stranger in an airport.” It is true that it doesn't matter but somehow most of us intuitively act as if it does matter. I love the reference to the evolutionary imperative that lies beneath the behavior and the need for positive response from those we do not know. He calls this desire to impress strangers "a quirky evolutionary byproduct of a smaller social world."

It somehow makes this slightly compulsive behavior less toxic and more amusing than anything else. And it reduces the significance of the less than pleasant interactions.

Conformity

2011-04-03T18:27:00.000-07:00

"To cling to the thoughts and ways of performing that you’ve always known is to resign yourself to being average. And mediocre. A spectator versus in the game." Robin Sharma

Here is the thing about this. We are socialized to become spectators because spectators do not disturb the status quo. In her book Sociology Understanding a Diverse Society Margaret L. Andersen states that "socialization is a form of social control. Because socialized people conform to cultural expectations, socialization gives society a certain degree of predictability, establishing patterns that be come the basis for social order." The message as we grow is that it is definitely better to roughly if not totally conform to societal norms. So breaking free from a lifetime of conformity requires some serious traction.

How much easier it becomes to conform as we age too. We learn to get very good at fitting in to new situations because that guarantees our immediate and long term survival in those situations. Anytime we enter a new situation our need to conform rises. Two year olds exhibit a distinct unwillingness to conform. Teenagers experience the opposite, where they have a dangerously high need to conform. When we start a new job we sit back and watch while we learn the rules and the hierarchy of the new environment. And we learn those rules well.

After a whole lifetime of conforming is it any surprise that men and women decide suddenly at fifty years old, give or take a few years, that we had so much to accomplish outside of the norm that society asked us to abide by. Sue Shellenbarger calls it "a psychological and spiritual upheaval [that] have been mistaken for menopause symptoms and reduced to a biological phenomenon". But is it possible that it is neither hormonal nor menopausal, but instead just a sudden recognition of our path as unique from the path that society would wish us to ponder. And such a committment to it that we will risk all to take that untravelled path and fulfill our raison d'etre in this life. To experience and live all the things that we were going to do once.

There is a certain clarity in the simple realization of this thought. Like the clouds cleared and you just get it. It removes the danger flags and warnings that flash through you brain and you see it for what it is. A twinkling goal ahead on a clear night. You realize that all along nothing terrible would have actually happened. You would not have been left out in the cold. And if you were, you would have been okay with that.

Get back into the game.

Ground Rush

2011-03-16T19:25:00.000-07:00

An amusing analogy compliments of the Globe & Mail and John Morton of the BBC.

"Parachutists call it ground rush. Apparently while you are falling through the sky and before you open your parachute, the perception is that you are dropping to the ground at a perfectly manageable speed. Yes, it's exhilarating, but there's plenty of time to take in the wonder of it all. But that's an illusion caused by a lack of visual cues. It's only when you drop below a certain height and suddenly become aware that the ground is rushing up to meet you that you realize how fast you have been falling all along. Maybe there is an analogy here for the way we experience time over the course of a human life."

Enough said.

Create Your Life

2011-03-11T12:38:00.000-08:00

I like that idea. We create our day and it accumulates to be our life. Rather than spending the day, and therefore our life, reacting to the things that come our way. That is not to say that we cannot absorb into our creation, the things that come our way with potential to enhance our day. The idea is to avoid spending a day being pushed and pulled by other's agendas and lose sight of your own agenda.

I spent the day chasing after little dysfunctional details today. As the day comes to an end, I wonder about this wasted block of time and I know that there were a million other ways I could have spent the day. Sometimes it is necessary, as taking care of those annoying little details gets them out of the way. I prefer to do that all in one day. Plus they pay me to take care of those details!

You wake up in the morning to a blank slate. A 24 hour hour period to fill as you wish. If you don't create it, it will pass by anyway. Wonderful hours left unused and wasted. I have used up about 19,345 days of my life. That is an alarming number. :)

That said, if I live to be 90,I still have 13,500 days to fill with anything I want. That sounds exciting. It behooves me therefore, to waste a single day reacting to events.

Creating a day involves some meditative thought before you start. I wrote a previous blog about choosing to be happy. This involved some morning rituals that reset your happy meter to high to start off your day. The result is that when you do, your day tends towards happy for the next 24 hours. I was sceptical but it turns out to be true for me. So that is the start of creating your day.

Choose the main things that you would like to do that day that will make a day of your own choosing. Slot these in. As simple as a walk at midday or the creation of a fabulous dinner with friends. Remember that concept where if you fill a jar with small stones then there no longer exists room for the big rocks. If you put the big rocks in first, there still exists room for the small stones in between the rocks. The big rocks are the things that make your heart sing. Make sure you have room in your day for these.

13,500 days. Creating not Reacting. Requires a little forethought but anything is possible then. Cool thoughts to end the week.

Decide To Be Happy

2011-02-27T12:52:00.000-08:00

Some days I think we just have to decide to be happy. I somehow view happy and less happy days as something that just happens to me, rather than something I control. I blame it on whatever is happening that day like a lousy meeting or an anticipated confrontation on an issue. Or on the fact that I did not eat right or exercise that day or the one prior. Or that I had one too many cocktails the day prior. Or that it is part of my physiological cycles. I see myself as dealing with it when it happens and not controlling it's existence.

But over the last few weeks I have tried a few well publicized but rather trite techniques for being happy. And they resulted, more often than not, in a complete change in the quality of my day, no matter what was happening to me or around me in my environment. I experienced what I call intentional happiness. What a cool concept. It implies the reverse is also true. That I create my less happy days as well. I am responsible for the quality of my days. I like that. On one hand that is positive actionable knowledge, and on the other hand it makes me immensely accountable for each days moods.

Even as I refer to the term 'moods' I realize that i have typically disowned my moods, whether they were positive or negative. This new knowledge implies that those moods do not just happen but that I have control over them....

So here is a list of the things that I have practised to increase my daily dose of happy:

1. When you wake up in the morning remind yourself that you are trying this new tactic for creating a happy day. Do this before you have started the tape in your brain that lists all the less desirable things you have to do that day. The one that moans about getting up in the first place, that curses the job that forces you to get up. You know that tape. Yours may say different things but we all have one.

2. Replace the terrible tape with a list of things that are right with your world. The kids are all okay. You have a job or if you don't then you can be grateful for a day to yourself. You are warm and there is food in the kitchen and maybe a really good cup of coffee. We are not looking for the big things here. A long list of small things is more powerful than a short list of good things. Sometimes before I open my eyes I think of all the good things in my life and then I get up and start my day.

3. While you think through this list and work to make it longer, smile. Tough one some days. But it is really hard to feel physically bad when you smile. Trust me and try it. I read somewhere that Steve Martin starts his day by laughing in the mirror for one full minute. Works for him!

4. Feel peaceful and grounded and let that feeling take over your physical self. Sometimes, in order to feel grounded, it helps to feel the physical feeling of having roots which connect into the ground, like a tree does. It is easier to do after you have done the first three steps. Just trust me and try it. Someone else told me about it and for a while it meant nothing and then it just took hold. And I got it.

5. Now go out and take on your day. Have your coffee and stay with the good thoughts and ping the bad ones. Gaze peacefully at those who may harsh your mellow (love that term) and move on with your day without engaging.

I like that I can decide to be happy and then I am. A little magic in my day.

Semi-Retirement

2011-02-17T18:21:00.000-08:00

I like that term. It involves working at something you might enjoy but not working all the time. Working on your own schedule. Choosing the number of hours and the tasks you do. Most people to whom I have spoken on this will say that the day they retired was glorious and full of the promise of doing all the things they never had time to do when they were fully employed.

And then they started doing those things and realized that they did not want to do them after all. So they tried some other things. Each person wading through the choices and finding the ones that make them hum. I have a good friend who will retire in a couple of months and she is going to get in her car and drive off on the road trip that she has planned. How exciting to go with a general agenda but be open and flexible enough to change it as new experiences come in on the horizon.

That is what retirement should be. Having a plan but being open to new ideas and shedding the old ones that turn out not to be what you had thought they could be.

I am sure that exercising more tops any list of retirement priorities since as we age our bodies require more maintenance than they used to. But most people who actually have retired say that even though they are not working they still find it difficult to fit this in. Other things that make the list are spending time in the garden, learning to cook like a chef and travelling.

My parents said they were planning to travel and did but found that as time went on they just liked to be home in the garden and hanging with family.

So here is how I see it. Make plans. Create your wish list. Start trying each item on the list and if it fits wear it. If it doesn't leave it behind. Stay flexible and be willing to add and subtract from your list as you go.

This applies to employment too. Try out different jobs that might be fun. A barista, an usher at a major sports building, the main desk at a busy fitness centre, the zoo. Volunteer or get paid a little. The goal is to have fun and still have time to do all those things you didn't have time for when you were working. It keeps you engaged socially and let's you learn new things that engage and challenge your mind and build new webs of neurons in your brain. And that will keep you interested and interesting as you age!

Breaking the Paradigms that Define Us

2011-02-02T13:04:00.000-08:00

I took some holidays without plans mostly because I had to take them or lose them. So I planned to work on the business and maybe get a feel for how it would feel without a 'real' job. My second son who still lives at home is away in Guatemala for the week so the whole image of what it is going to be like was very real.

Day 1 was delicious. I slept in and woke up and had my coffee and read anything and everything for about two hours. Then I did a few things for the business. Then I went to the gym and did a spin class which made me feel amazing. I went home and on the way, stopped leisurely in to pick up a few groceries at the Italian deli, to make this meal I had in my mind to make. I took my dog for a walk and just appreciated the cold and snow rather than cursing it. While I put the dinner together I had a glass of the most amazing red wine, a Shiraz, called A Bird in Hand. Nothing rushed. Just simply in the moment each moment of the day.

And I realized that staying in the moment instead of staying focused on the never ending list in your head is about doing less and running less. Trying to get less into your day rather than more. Is it always realistic that we could make that happen. Not sure.

So then Day 2 arrived and started similar to Day 1 but throughout the day I was haunted by this aimless feeling of wasting time rather than treasuring each moment. I have heard others speak of it too. Wondered why it is that we feel that it is wasting time when we don't go out to do a job that has dubious relevance in the whole scheme of things and yet when we do the things that feel good and spend time with those who light us on fire, we feel an aimlessness and a low grade anxiety for not having accomplished much in our day.

I guess 35 years of going to a job that society deems as credible, sits in my mind as a relevant way to spend my time. Busy-ness is valued. Busy-ness means you are important. The secret paradigm under which I and a lot of other people were schooled. I liked this video below. Simple but it is a great illustration of how a paradigm is formed.

Is it possible to remove this programming from my brain and set up a new paradigm that actually values valuable time spent enjoying each moment rather than just filling each moment. Not sure but I intend to explore that option over the next two weeks. Since I am going back to the job, it will not truly represent the goal but it is as close as I can get right now. Emhasis on the 'right now'.

Moonlight on the Rideau Canal in Ottawa

2011-02-01T10:28:00.000-08:00

In the name of trying new things, I have a confession to make. I have not been trying new things in my personal realm. For the business every step I make is a new thing...some of them work and some of them do not. In my work life, the one that pays the bills, as opposed to the one that sucks up my money like a black hole, I am currently on a huge learning curve that is surprisingly most enjoyable. I am at my best when I am on my learning curve. That is something I know to be true about me.

But it would seem that I can only manage so much learning curve at one time. So my realm of personal new experiences, although innately connected to my other growth experiences, is quite sadly lacking.

That is part of the reason why, last weekend, we jumped in the car and drove to Ottawa Ontario Canada to visit some friends and....here it comes....we skated on the canal. For those of you who do not know Ottawa, the Rideau Canal winds through the city for 5 miles as the world's longest ice skating rink, and when it freezes in the winter, they clear the snow and maintain the ice surface for skating. The midnight version of this experience is not to be missed. The whole distance is well lit, safe at night and we had the natural light of the moon adding atmosphere to an already magical experience. My two almost adult boys and their girlfriends with us totally.

We went at midnight on a record cold moonlit night and there were still dozens of skaters that we passed through the night. It was one of those experiences that has been on my list for some time and there I was skimming along the ice surface completely oblivious to the freezing temperature.

It does not get any better than that.

I Suddenly Get the Social Networking Thing for Business

2011-01-25T10:57:00.000-08:00

I had an epiphany on the whole social networking possibilities for business. I did not see the whole picture before. It was not that I was not working at it. I read books and articles online to try to integrate it. I played with my Face book, my blogs and Twitter and kept trying new things but it did not completely make sense to me. I just was not getting how it could all work to promote your business. And then I just got it. For some reason the knowledge clicked and now I can see how it can all work. It has amazing possibilities and now I see why everyone is talking about it. Not that it could be, by any means, considered a static entity or one that you can ever truly know. But I get the why and how in it's present form and it makes sense.

I also see why companies who leverage it hire people to monitor it. It can be intensely laborious to remain current all through the various channels that make up social networks. Blogging,comment monitoring, posting comments on other blogs, Face book presence and interactivity and Twitter presence alone can consume your time. Not that it isn't fun! It is lots of fun. But it can eat up the hours that you were planning to do other things. But really...what could be more important than free and almost free advertising for you business.

So some thoughts for anyone out there muddling through the possibilities but not seeing them. I recommend that you just keep on keeping on. Try things and if they work keep them and if they don't work, do something else. Keep doing things and more things. When I felt like I got it, it was like a cloud cover clearing and I could see forever. Nothing amazing happened to cause it. No single catalytic event. Just sudden clarity.

Painting the Canvas that is Your Life

2011-01-16T14:39:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share a quote that was wonderfully revealing to me.

Alex Crockett from Broken Postcard sums it up like this: "I used to paint a lot. When I painted I would often have to stand at a distance from the painting in order to not add too much detail to one single area at the exclusion of the whole. It seems that faced with immediacy of life we all too readily get involved in details at the exclusion of what may be a better perspective."

Now, although I often do not know of what Alex speaks on any given day, this particular quote changed how I think. How interesting it is to realize how we shrink our world. We get involved in the day to day of our lives and "add the detail" to our days. That potentially becomes the whole picture and fearfully we can frame it as we see it and it becomes our world view. And we operate there for the rest of our days. In actuality it is a very small microcosm of the entire reality in which we exist. "The whole painting."

If we can for a moment, back up and see how our microcosm fits into the world view, we would be startled by how insignificant the petty details can become. When you view the whole painting, the small area where you were working looks...well...small. What seemed so large becomes so small when you change it's context. It can shrink your problems to a manageable almost laughable size. They become mundane. Humbling. On any given day, I cannot rise above and on other days I can see beyond my world to a strange and exciting distance. Splash color on the whole painting not add endless detail to a small area. Way more fun.

I think the desire to try new things is an effort to expand the piece of the painting that you work on. It makes you want to add colour to a bigger part of the picture. What you see when you back up can make you want to back up even more. Seeing your world as a microcosm of a world that is a microcosm of an even bigger world. How fascinating.

Picture is from http://www.transformyourimages.co.uk/art-gallery-16/paint-burst-yellow-canvas-8109.htm

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

2011-01-10T06:23:00.000-08:00

This poem is from a website called Vibrant Nation. For women 50+. Check it out.

by Portia Nelson

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

I Have an Inner Princess!

2011-01-06T14:21:00.000-08:00

I grew up in a time when retail was functional but not meant to entertain. I should say my inner princess was growing up then. Everything you needed was there but there was no glitter and lights. Or not that I remember. It just was what it was. We did not know enough to realize that we might be missing something. So my inner princess sat quietly inside.

There were no pink frilly things, no sparkly things in my memory. I did not know they were even out there if they were. So what happens when this inner princess, who has been repressed through years of working in the competitive world of business, while I made my way to Director with a major blue chip company, suddenly starts to communicate with the competent shell in which she has been hidden for so many years.

I realize that my inner princess is there when I pass by any store with sparkly or pink things and I am unable to comprehend my strange fascination with all things in this realm. Until recently I think the only pink thing I owned was a pink Iron Man T-shirt buried deep in my cupboard. (My dog wears it on Breast Cancer runs now!) The rest were varying shades of blue or black with an odd splash of red.

So how to explain the sudden infiltration of all things pink when I am about to turn 53. Strange sparkly sweaters that I have yet to wear and can no longer remember why I had purchased them. A lifetime of pent up desire or the emergence of my inner princess?

For Christmas we decided that we would not purchase gifts but would give things away to those that had no gifts. After Christmas I listened to some friends who were over talking about some pretty cool gadget gifts one of which was an IPAD and my inner princess cried. (Not really but she stamped her feet a lot!)

And then the day I had to clean the caulking in the shower might have been the day she died. I think she was buried in the caulking I removed. Certainly not a job that a princess would do. Note to myself: Hire someone to do that one next time!

Could this strange awareness of the possible existence of an inner princess actually be aligned with going back to a time when you knew clearly what your hopes and goals looked like. A time when you planned to do something and then you did it and then you made another plan. And you did that. And then life started rolling along seemingly by itself. And so you handled whatever life threw your way. You handled other people's priorities without a second thought too. Your inner princess is the child in you tapping you on the shoulder and saying "Remember?".

My inner princess has surfaced to remind me of a time when my life was my own and my goals and plans were endless and possible. This is the second act and could it be that my dreams are just as endless and possible.

I Resolve Not to Make Resolutions!

2010-12-29T18:53:00.000-08:00

Funny how as New Years approaches you take a sudden look at long forgotten goals for 2010. I resisted making resolutions in 2010 and instead I set goals.(Somewhat nebulous ones in some cases!) The word resolutions has, for me, negative connotations of years gone by. Good Intentions. Great starts. Long forgotten by year end. That makes me normal, I think. There are too many expectations tied up in the term "resolution". So this year, I resolve not to make resolutions again.

When I set goals, I make plans to achieve them. I think that is the difference between resolutions and goals. Resolutions feel wishful. Goals have a plan. Semantics? Maybe, but it works for me.

My goals for 2010 were to get the business started. That goal is one that will never end. I need to constantly breathe life into that one to keep it alive. This one is definitely still on the list for this year 2011. The execution plan is more expansive so I definitely made progress in 2010.

Another goal I had in 2010 was to change things up in my work life. Still on the list for 2011. I made progress once again but I am not ready to make the leap just yet. I think the rest of my goals last year were too nebulous to determine if I have made progress. How do you really evaluate if you have slowed down. I think i have but it is hard to be objective. Life still feels busy. How do you evaluate if you are living more authentically. Hmmmm...

Robin Sharma (a favorite as you know) suggests picking your top 5. The five things that if you achieved them you would say, I had a great year! I like that approach too.

I took out a new notebook last night and came up with my Top 6. When I was finished I evaluated them this way. If I achieved each one, am I closer to my goal? Are they measurable? Sounds a little corporate but at the end of the year you have to be able to say that you either achieved it or you didn't. I was pretty excited about the list. Then I put a next step on each of them so I can begin right away.

No resolutions but lots of resolve. Funny how inspiring a life with goals ahead can be. The reverse is also true. How melancholy a life without goals can feel. So clarify your goals and burst ahead into the New Year!

25 Things that Make Me Feel Happy

2010-12-25T11:03:00.000-08:00

1. Try New Things. Keep things fresh and new. Keep your brain in overdrive. It makes you feel invigorated to have tried something you have never experienced before.

2. Sit alone in a quiet place that inspires you. Is it in nature? By a fire? Yesterday I sat on an indoor pool deck which was closed. The air was warm and the lights were dim. The water was calm and peaceful. It was a wonderful opportunity to check in with me and see if everything was on track.

3. Help someone. Give someone your time and or money. Give them a step up in whatever they need to move forward. Volunteer at the food bank with your friends.

4. Go for a long walk in the woods. Where we are the snow is on the ground and as you walk it crunches underfoot. The cold air is exhilarating.

5. Hang out with a pet and really give him your attention for a few minutes. As with people there is a big difference between a passing pat and a real touch.

6. Cook a dish that you have never made before. Create it from scratch, buying the individual ingredients, create it with love and and when it is finished bring some to share with a friend.

7. Go swimming. The feeling of cutting through the warm water and feeling your body stretch and contract is amazing for your body and your mind. Sometimes I like to just float on my back and watch the sky go by.

8. Choose a day when you have a couple of hours to read. Curl up with a new book or magazine and get lost in it.

9. Make someones day. Call a long distance friend that you have not spoken to. Find out what has been happening in their lives.

10. Get a massage. For mind and body there is no better therapy. Gets everything moving and feeling great again.

11. Do Yoga. Like a massage but even better. Always concentrate on you with no comparisons to those around you.

12. Spend an hour with a child and let him/her lead the way on what to do and where to go. You will feel like a child again when you are with them.

13. Really focus and savour the taste of a food that you love. Whether it is you first taste of morning coffee or a square of extraordinary chocolate or a complex Thai dish, savour it and really be in the moment.

14. Go to a place where you can watch the sun go down. There is a sense that all is right with the world when you watch the sun go down and when it finally sinks below the horizon, the feeling of inner peace is unmatched.

15. Choose one thing on your bucket list and create a plan to make it happen. Choose the date and write the action countdown to that date.

16. Put your bare feet in a river or a lake. Feel the coldness of the water and splash around like a child would.

17. Go to a travel website and find out your new next favorite destination. Or go to Google Images and put your destination into the browser and check out all the beautiful pictures associated with your destination.

18. I get inspired from watching a UTUBE Jack Canfield video or a Robin Sharma video. They get me to a place where I can see that anything is possible.

19. Go to a coffee shop with a friend who really gets you. A friend who knows who you really are and loves you for it.

20. Turn on the music in your house really loud and dance. Remember the adage to dance like there is nobody watching. Do that.

21. Do something creative. Try your hand at pottery or painting or any creative endeavor. Don't try to be great. Just be creative. Frame your piece or put it in a place where you can see it every day.

22. Write a short passage or blog and then rewrite it until it is something you are quite proud of. Some days, after I have finished writing this blog, I go back and read some of the earlier entries and I feel quite proud if some of the entries.

23. Spend a day wandering through a small town that has shops and restaurants. Buy or don't buy but just browse and have coffee and people watch. Do it with a friend or do it alone. It can be amazing to your happiness either way.

24. Eating things that feed my body makes me happy. When I am on my game and exercising and eating right, I get a harmony with my place in the world and it makes me happy.

25. Listening to your favorite music can transport you to another place. Listening to some great beats can lift you up before your workout and get you in the mood to workout. Listening to some great jazz while you are driving can give you a feeling of peace and contentment.

These are the things that make me happy. Surprising how simple and inexpensive most of them are isn't it? That is food for thought. What makes you feel happy?

Wave Surfing and Life

2010-12-11T07:57:00.000-08:00

Trying new things even on a small scale can be likened to diving through waves. When you stand in the shallow water and face out to sea and watch the waves roll in. If you stand just shallow of where the waves break you can watch them break from a safe distance. You sit safely bobbing in the swirl that happens after the wave breaks untouched by the ferocity of the breaking wave.

If you happen to stand right near where the wave breaks, the water crashes over you, tearing at your clothing and slamming you toward the sandy bottom. You come back up breathless and disoriented. Here is the secret though. To pass through a breaking wave you have to dive into it. When you do you smoothly emerge on the other side. You see the obvious analogy. Right now I am standing in the shallows watching the wave break. Feeling the need to dive in.

I have chosen three things that I can do right now. Climb Kilimanjaro. Register at the University to get my Masters (and then do I dare hope a PhD?) and go to my first Yoga class at my gym. Those are three things that I can incorporate into my life NOW. I have a willing friend to climb with. We just need to book the trip. I have already contacted the University for registration and all I have to do to start my yoga class is drive to the gym. Done. Many of the people I have read about, who had made their midlife changes, had chosen to do something inspiring and that changed their path completely. To a more fulfilling one. I see a big wave coming.

Wishful Thinking and Entrepreneurship

2010-12-10T17:41:00.000-08:00

I read a column from an entrepreneur coach and he says when you are starting out, most days are bad ones, where you wear multiple hats and are required to do ten different tasks, only two of which you actually know how to do. And he says some days you want to throw in the towel and other days the sky is the limit. He's right. Most days entrepreneurship is just one small task after another. Nothing glorious. Expenses still exceeding income. Moments of glory but the rest is just a series of tasks that hopefully move toward the goal.

Some days I think I Can Do This and there is no end to my optimistic view of the future. Then other days when I wonder what the heck am I doing anyway! Whatever made me think this could work? And then something small happens...some small bit of success that sends me rocketing back to optimism. A roller coaster ride to the finish.

It is interesting that if I had not invested the original money into the project, I may have quit by now. Not because the idea would not fly but because it is difficult and slow. I had expectations that this would happen faster than it has. T. Harvey Eker says to plan on paying twice as much as you budgeted and take 3 times as long as you thought it would. He was right although I did not know it at the heady launch time when I read the article.

It is still fun though and in the end that is what counts. Add in the fact that it continues to grow, despite that it grows slower than I would like it. Budgets would indicate that over time I will make money too. I still look at the product and get a little flip in my heart. Random, unsolicited, unmotivated feedback still says Thumbs Up. Still a reason to go forward. On Dragons Den they say not to expect to make any money until year 4. I am thinking year 2 or 3 but maybe that is wishful thinking....

10 Reasons Retirement Makes You Feel Younger - On Retirement (usnews.com)

2010-12-04T07:32:00.000-08:00

10 Reasons Retirement Makes You Feel Younger - On Retirement (usnews.com)

10 Reasons Retirement Makes You Feel Younger
By Sydney Lagier

Posted: June 15, 2010

Retirement gets a bad rap. It conjures images of white hair, rocking chairs, and forgetting where you left your teeth. It reminds you of that man driving ten miles an hour under the speed limit with the turn signal still blinking after a lane change six miles ago. Retirement is just another word for getting old, right?

Wrong. Retirement is actually the fountain of youth. Ok, maybe you won’t literally start aging backwards, but it will feel like you are. Think back to your childhood, to the last day of school before summer break. Remember the thrill of having all those months to do anything you wanted? Well, in retirement you have the whole rest of your life. Here’s why retirement will shave years off your attitude.

No more ties. Only grown-ups wear ties. When you put on that suit each morning, it transforms you. You become a professional, an adult, and let’s face it, old. When you wake up the first day of retirement and find yourself still in your pajamas two hours later, you’ll feel like a kid on Christmas morning, just waiting to unwrap the rest of your life.

Pedaling instead of commuting. Yes, you rode your bike when you were still working, but that was merely for exercise. Now it’s for fun or even to get somewhere. Pedaling through the neighborhood with the wind in your hair transports you back to your youth.

Movies in the middle of the day. Like that kid on summer break, you can catch the bargain matinee on a weekday, except now you can see the R-rated ones without your mom.

Playing just for the sake of playing. Now you can play golf solely for the fun of it, without discussing the latest sales figures with your client. Whether it’s tennis or piano or Sudoku, retirement lets you play purely because you want to, even though it isn’t productive. Productive is a grown-up word. You’re too busy frolicking to care about that.

Taking electives. Kids finger paint to create, not to sell paintings. You’ll join a class just because you want to draw or sing or write. It doesn’t have to further your career or your degree, you have time to learn simply because you’re interested.

Fewer responsibilities. Ever wonder why the president’s hair turns gray within a year of taking office? It’s all that responsibility. Without your job you’ll have a lot less of it. Your gray hairs won’t turn back to black, but you’ll probably slow down on accumulating new ones.

Ditto with stress.

Energy. After a long day at work, you pretty much have the energy to eat dinner and then park yourself in front of the TV for a few hours before going to bed and starting all over again the next day. Without that job to exhaust you, you’ll actually have energy, like when you were young.

Sleep. Part of that energy is because you are no longer operating on six hours of sleep. You’ll sleep in like a teenager until you’re absolutely ready to join the waking world.

Social networking. When you were working you didn’t have time to figure out Facebook or Twitter or texting. You had more important things to do. You don’t anymore. So when you hang with the cool kids on laptops at the coffeehouse, you’ll also be checking for new comments on your most recent blog post.

You’d think that since retirement comes toward the end of your life it would make you feel older, not younger. But it’s not the end of the road. Retirement is the beginning of a new road leading to years of slurping from the fountain of youth.

Sydney Lagier is a former certified public accountant. Since retiring in 2008 at the age of 44, she has been writing about the transition from productive member of society to gal of leisure at her blog, Retirement: A Full-Time Job.

View from the Porch

2010-11-30T07:13:00.000-08:00

Picture this...you are sitting on the porch of your home 20 years from now. Are you happy and deeply satisfied with the decisions that you made in your lifetime, particularly the last 20 years of conscious living? Do you smile with the sense of having achieved the things that mattered to you? Do your eyes and smile sparkle and resonate with the depth of a life lived close to your true authenticity?

We need to change the things in our lives that bring worry and resentment. Just like that. It is not easy. We become enslaved to the more superficial elements of life and we trade them for a life of truth and engagement. It is not easy to just step away from a gradually escalating search for stuff that began when we started working. This coincides with a gradual imperceptible separation from what truly mattered to us. Until we can no longer isolate what that was. It haunts us in midlife as a nagging feeling that something is missing.

What if you did step off from the things that age your body and wear on your mind. Those who have been there say that when you move into the space where you truly belong, all things come easy. All the things you feared do not happen. You do not become a bag lady. You do not wander the house in your slippers wondering how to fill your days. Stepping off brings to mind images of stepping into an abyss.

What if you found out that you have 5 years left? How about 1 year? Changes how you look at things. You think that life will not go by so fast and yet it does. And the plan you had to change how you spend your time has fallen by the wayside squelched by the paradox of the devil you know versus the devil you don't know.

There is a gradual physical toll of living a life far from the core of who you are. A daily wear and tear that comes from worry and fear and negative stress. As opposed to the positive stress of living boldly. Cells that are constantly regenerating in an atmosphere of fear and anxiety must be very different than the ones made in a nurturing spirit centred body.

We can make small daily changes but at some point I think there are leaps to be made and then small daily changes and then leaps. And so on. It is the fear of those leaps that makes us compromise repeatedly and settle for choices that do not make our heart sing. Scary leaps make for a bumpy ride but they also make the view from the porch resonate with the clarity of a life well lived.

Exit Stage Left!

2010-11-26T16:20:00.000-08:00

I had a call from a business today. She had been at a party the evening prior and she loved loved loved the napkins! So much so that she wants to sell them in her business, a gallery, restaurant and decorating business. So she had gone online to look for it, as the web address is on each napkin.

When I was speaking to her she said that they had so much fun with the napkins that she was going to become my biggest fan. She reinforced the conversation inspiring value of the product and the magic of her unsolicited enthusiasm was invaluable to me. She just gave that rock the final push to get it to the top of the mountain. She seemed like a person I might like to know. Easy going, irreverent and funny. And in total admiration of the product.

She reinforces the value of what I have created and renews my own enthusiasm for the project. We are working on the next release of 5 more SKU's and of course running to a deadline. We are moving production back to the US and the product quality that they have is amazing. This next line is exciting, maybe more so than the first.

Interesting and possible right now that this line could be my employment and wouldn't that be neat. Puts some real accountability on me to keep the line fresh and growing and always introducing new lines and products. Never had the experience of being totally accountable and having my pay level dependent on that. I am used to working for someone else. This would be a nice way exit stage left.

Be Careful What You Wish For....

2010-11-24T17:59:00.000-08:00

Our company grapevine has revealed that there are job losses in our division on the horizon. Interesting that I wax poetic about having a life that does not include the less desireable pieces of this job and yet when I find out I may be doing just that, I experience a deep anxiety. Change never was my thing...and yet any changes that have occurred in my life even the ones I had not planned for have resulted in a better life. So why not this one.

When I think about not having a job after a lifetime of working I picture myself aimlessly moving about the house. (I think I am even wearing slippers in that image and I do not even own slippers). My family has a lifestyle that counts on my pay check to cooperate. I wonder how I will describe who I am if I am not employed. I have two children who will be in University for 4 years. Those are all the negative thoughts. Got them out there. They are always the first ones to come to mind.

Chris Daughtry was right. "Be careful what you wish for...you might just get it all."

Here are the good thoughts to chase away the scary ones. I always have to work to see the brighter side although the dark side comes to me immediately. The business takes off. Already it generates adequate revenue that primarily goes to pay off the debt of beginning the company. Maybe there will be packages that will help out on this! Freedom to travel a little. If I have 20 years left I want to fill it with joy and new experiences. Maybe I can describe myself as a successful entrepreneur/adventurer someday. Liking that handle. Liking the idea of being mobile. Maybe I will have more time to get in shape and take those courses. These will add structure to my days and stop the slipper shuffling vision from becoming real. :)

Two Lists

2010-11-13T17:43:00.000-08:00

I have not posted for a while. Life gets busy sometimes and you get so busy living it that you do not have time to write about it. Brings me back to the whole concept of being too busy to do the things that matter. If you made a list of all the things that fill your days and a list of all the things that are important to you, are there any items that overlap both lists. I hope so. But many days I don't think so. The ideal is to have both those lists looking similar but the more different the lists are, the less likely it is that you are living from the centre of your being.

It is definitely a process. Every day cannot be ideal. The idea is to move in the direction of your list of things that matter. Do one thing that matters to you every day. Every day. It is a start and it tends to be self propagating in the feelings of engagement that result. Creating an ideal life is hard work. Everything you have learned and experienced to date led you to this moment.

Remember the goal but remember that the journey is where we truly engage with our life. I had heard that so many times and in my exuberance to achieve thought it to be a little soft. But now I see it. The journey is the goal. We grow and change through our experiences. I want the business to thrive and survive but the effort to make that happen is where all the fun lies. And since I am learning not to be so future oriented it has allowed me to see that there is a journey and that there is growth and development along the way.

It goes back to a previous entry about letting life happen. You do all you can and then sit back and experience (not always enjoy) the journey.

Thought Stream

2010-10-27T15:50:00.000-07:00

I was thinking while I was driving today. Spent 3 hours on the road listening to some jazz and thinking. I read a passage this morning while I drank my coffee and I spent time thinking about it. It was from a book called Fearless by Brenda Shoshanna. The 7 Principles of Peace of Mind. I want to review all 7 of her Principles but after I do, go get the book. It will make you feel fearless. And I will never do justice to just how great she is.

She calls Chapter 2 Letting Go of Attachment & Grasping. Even the title sounds desperate doesn't it. When I read the title I thought...I want to do that. She suggests that instead of finding change "thrilling & beautiful" we find it frightening and resist it. We hold on to the past in a desperate bid to keep our lives the same. We try to maintain the status quo and hold on to what is familiar to us. She does not just reiterate the same old stuff. Her thoughts are new and powerful and right on the mark.

She offers ways to work with our fear of change. Stay open to anything that comes into your day. Wanted or unwanted. Just open up and let it it. Watch it come and go. Hold on to nothing...just observe but let it flow by you. Easy to say. Tough to do. Not impossible. Just might take a little practice.

Some things that enter your life seem difficult and then turn out to be amazing after you work through them. Sometimes a gift in an awkward package. Some things that feel good turn out less than perfect. Reminds you not to evaluate but just to let life flow past. Funny that when you are able to let go a strange feeling of peace washes over you. A smile from deep inside. If only we could hold that thought and do that every day. Could be a game changer.

Magical Outcomes

2010-10-14T17:26:00.000-07:00

On the blog before last I talked about relaxing and not controlling outcomes. The business has had a huge breakthrough. We contacted several US companies to check out their interest in carrying the line. And then I actually practised what I preached. I let the outcomes happen. Some people we did not hear from, others were varying degrees of suitable but there was one that would have been perfect. Just let it happen. It was hard to do.

Here is the magic. Acting or not acting did not change the outcome. Just the obsessing. The outcome came exactly at the right time. The company that we deemed to be a perfect fit called and told us that they wanted to represent our line. The warehouse in the US has made it possible to ship from the US. We handle up front billing and inventory. The perfect scenario.

It will probably take us six months to roll out but the sales group covers about 40% of the US population. They seem like bright rational amiable people. Just like the Canadian group that works with us now. Just like our warehouse people who pack and ship for us. Just like our manufacturing contact in China. Lucky me.

Choices

2010-10-14T15:18:00.000-07:00

I read somewhere that in order of priority, breath and choice are two of our most valuable treasures. The value of breath is obvious. Why would choice come so close on the list to a life sustaining biological function though? Choice directs our days, our thoughts, our lives. Wikipedia defines choice this way. "Choice consists of the mental process of judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one of them." Sounds simple enough. Every moment is a choice. What colour socks to wear and in my younger son's case which two colours of socks to wear. To drive the highway or the backroads. To stop for coffee or get to the meeting on time. Endless choices each day. One after another. Driven to sameness by our tendency to make choices on autopilot. Reacting without thought, we float through our days.

We can choose to think positive. We can choose to be happy. We can choose to leave situations that do not feed our soul. Because by not choosing, you are still choosing. A profound thought, because when we do not choose to make a change, we are choosing to stay where we are. Spend a minute thinking about that in the context of what you want out of life. It is always easier to stay where you are. A funny thing that.

A friend showed me a cooking school in Tuscany today and it reminded me of the choices I am not making. My teenagers will always be my priority so when they are relatively independent I will need to make my choice to step off and go. I was reading about a woman who did make that choice and she said that there are great things and not so great things about the decision. I appreciated her honesty. But she does conclude that after five years of moving around she still is fulfilled by the experiences of trying new things. She says you are never so fully alive as when you are repeatedly experiencing new things, new foods and new places.

There is an entertaining blog about three women who leave their big New York ad agency jobs and travel the world. They too have no regrets. And a book to their credit.

Choices. We all make them. You make them every minute of the day. "Life is the sum of all your choices." ~Albert Camus

How To Be Calm During the Storm

2010-10-06T10:16:00.000-07:00

I love writing about fear. I just think it controls so much of who we are and what we do and say. A strange little undercurrent that wields tremendous power over who we become. Or not. Manifests itself in control, obsessions, conformity and other darker extremes. We may see them as just controlling our outcomes but regardless of what we call them, they are truly just fear masquerading as relatively socially acceptable forms of fear.

We are born wild and free. Then slowly we start to adjust our behaviors to avoid things that we learn to fear. This has a positive side in that it prevents us as children from climbing into a strangers car for instance. But on the other side, we learn to fear outcomes that never happen and maybe never will. We digest the fears of those around us and incorporate them into how we behave. We learn to fear the loss of love so we conform. We learn to control other people to achieve our desired outcomes. We get so good at it that eventually we no longer recognize who we are under all the layers of accomodation.

I am not a huge control person but I do manage outcomes through manipulating other's behavior. Subconciously. I think we all do. Even as toddlers we know intuitively how to do this. It gets more calculated as we get older but less transparent so that we do not even recognize it in ourselves. Fear of undesireable outcomes develops our skill at creating these desired outcomes through manipulating other people to help us to achieve our outcomes.

We want to be loved or liked so we withold an opinion that matters to us. We wish to be part of the group so we do what we might prefer not to do. Until eventually we become a little less than what we started out as. And after many years we can no longer uncover our essence. Fears and adaptive behaviors in so many layers that we cannot find ourselves underneath.

Try this next time before you respond. Notice your desire to gain a specific outcome from what is happening or what you are feeling. Now release the outcome and just be there. Let it happen. Hear what is said or feel your feelings without judgement. Flow with the current. Relax. Breathe.Smile. Know that whatever outcome is going to happen, will do so regardless of your desire to control it. Picture the difference between floating in a current and swimming against it and you understand why flow feels so much easier. Keep your brain quiet. No chatter. No words to add meaning or fault to an outcome. Silence.

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." Lao-Tzu. Kind of a cool feeling not to have to own every outcome.

Fear starts to slip away when you don't own the outcome. You see things as they are rather than through your filters of fear. Not being afraid liberates the person you are. Your gift to the world.

Introverts and Extraverts

2010-09-23T17:03:00.000-07:00

Psychology Today has a great article called "Revenge of the Introverts". The author Laura Helgoe claims that 50% of the population are introverts. She makes the important distinction between shy people and introverts. They are not the same. I am not shy but consider myself an introvert. I can actually at times be outspoken but still consider myself an introvert.

Helgoe uses the example of two people at a dance standing on the sidelines. The shy person wishes they were not there but the introvert is totally happy to be there. Introverts prefer to be alone. She uses Beth Wheatley as an example. Beth runs as she chooses solitary exercise over team sports or gyms where groups of people gather to work out. She also opts out of after work social events. I share much in common with Beth.

I am by no means shy but I am definitely an introvert. I know it and Myers Briggs proved it. Helgoe speaks of the recovery time needed after a session with large groups of people. She says introverts need that time to digest events and information. I know that I just need it to keep going out there. Extroverts live for social interaction and introverts avoid it. I myself do not mind small groups of people, dinner parties for four or dinner out with a friend,
small groups of people I enjoy. And then some down time.

I wrote in an earlier blog about coping mechanisms that we develop to survive in an extroverted society. Helgoe speaks of our Western society as extremely extroverted but reveals that there are many societal groups where introversion is valued more. Compensatory behaviors help an introvert to function in a society where extroversion is valued.

Introverts tend to be self critical as the area of the brain that controls speech is active during the recovery periods and Helgoe attributes that to inner conversations which occur to resolve and digest issues and information.

"Introverts and extraverts report a mood boost from the company of others. For introverts however the boost may come at a cost." When I need downtime I need to just go. Middle of a seminar. Party. Need to remove myself. I do not consciously spend time digesting or assimilating information...I just need time alone.

It works for me. As I get older I enjoy more time alone. I have a multitde of friends in the wings whom I see individually. I steer clear of company functions and am usually busy on party nights.

Cool article. Nice to validate what I know to be true in my life.

Things that Nourish You

2010-09-10T18:10:00.000-07:00

That elusive real self seems to peek out at me at certain moments in my life. It is in those moments that I recognize my authentic self. Stripped away is the self that has been built to respond to the world. Magic moments.

I sat to list the things that made me feel the most rooted and/or the most nourished.Here they are in no particular order.

1. Reading a bestseller curled up in an armchair by the fire on a rainy day.
2. Walking my dog on a black velvet summer night and catching a glimpse of a silent starry night.
3. Creating an amazing meal slowly and without obligation.
4. Having my first cup of coffee in the morning.
5. Driving with the roof down on a summer night and listening to Brad Barker's Dinner Jazz.
6. Running through the park downtown with my IPOD.
7. Shopping at the market on Saturday morning. The busker's music and the colour and the freshness of all the stalls.
8. Reading travel magazines and business books at Chapters.
9. Drinking an amazing Australian Shiraz pretty much anywhere.
10. Hanging out with my boys and chatting after a night out.

These things put me in a peaceful place. Make your list and try to put more of these moments into your life. These are the moments when you recognize the person you are becoming.

Semi Conscious

2010-09-08T17:50:00.000-07:00

Robin Sharma speaks of conscious living. Leaving the crowd behind and living consciously. A person I know asked me why do I have the need to make all these changes in my life. He said lots of people live in the same house and do the same things for the rest of their lives and they are happy. It made me question myself too. Why can I not just be happy and be where I am. Why this nagging need to carve out a new place. I wonder about that too. That person made me doubt my own thoughts.

Are these people happy or unconsciously living out their time here? Failing to be truly alive means we missed a chance to live at the top of our game. And we missed the chance to learn and grow. To become the person we are meant to become. Robin Sharma calls it "playing small" with our lives. Mediocrity. Safety. Small.

Living semi consciously now. I feel the excitement of the next phase but I am not there yet. Viewing it as a journey makes it okay. When the clouds break I can see the stars in the distance and that reminds me that I am patiently moving along the path. It is during the journey that we grow not in the actual attainment of the goal.

A Jonathan Livingston Seagull moment. That book was first published in 1970. About a seagull who tires of the mediocrity of life and with great effort moves to a higher plane of his existence. Serendipitous discoveries.

Braces, Botox and Batwings

2010-09-07T07:01:00.000-07:00

Finally decided to straighten out my teeth that have become more displaced as I age. The orthodontist said that the distance between your canine teeth actually gets shorter as you age and your jaw changes. This change is more pronounced on your lower jaw but happens to both top and bottom. That explains why my teeth were once straight and perfect and now are folding over each other. The braces make me feel narcissistic at my age as they have always been a teenage affliction. But the orthodontist said that 25% of his practice is now adults. 14 month commitment.

The frown line may be next. I fear Botox or it's equivalences as foreign substances in a body that needs simplicity now. But as the frown line starts to resemble a chasm between my eyes it makes me consider the possibility. Then I go back to the concept of your face reflecting your experiences in life and that there is a wisdom in the lines we carry. I am not disturbed by the other lines and wrinkles only this one as it implies a stern, angry, unhappy person and I am none of those things.

Another obvious sign of aging is the appearance of batwings. Mine are small but I see them. Despite an enjoyable, vigourous exercise program of aerobics and weights, I still have batwings. I recall seeing a video of Madonna waving from the top of the steps to an airplane and even she had bat wings. She has trainers, money and time and her body is her marketing tool and yet she still had batwings. Let's you forgive and adapt to the changes that overtake your best intentions.

How funny life is that at the time when our minds become the clearest our bodies become less useful. Maybe one is a prerequisite for the other. Maybe in order to acquire the wisdom of a life view, we need to lose the vehicle that has been our biological tool that has propelled us forward to date. Nice that it happens in little pieces and not all at once. Profound that as younger people dismiss us as "older people", we have this invisible wisdom that feels victorious and requires no recognition. We strive to be recognized if we remain propelled by our teenage ego. But when our esoterical wisdom clicks in the ego is dispelled and loses it's power to direct our lives.

We never fully conquer our ego, so the existence of braces and Botox and exercise allow us to improve this human shell in which our developed mind resides.

The Breaking Point

2010-09-07T05:49:00.000-07:00

Susan Shellenbarger's book The Breaking Point is an amazing book! She writes about women in midlife and illuminates the different paths that each women takes to design her new life. She reflects back to me the very things I am struggling with and organizes and validates them. Reduces some of the confusion. It is full of stories from women who walked before me on this path.

It also opened the conversation with my mother on her experience. Her experience may have been less explosive as I think that 30 years ago it was not mainstream enough create massive change at midlife. So they quietly went about pursuing their new goals. It did not change their feelings about that time. They still analyzed their life choices and made new ones. But our sense of entitlement has grown since then and our financial and social independence also gives us more freedom to explore our options in a more expansive way.

I think I have been in a mild state of dissatisfaction for maybe 5 years now. Then it became a focal point for the last 2 years. The true momentum has only gathered steam in the last 2 or 3 months when I realize there are ways to finance the change, precipitated also by the fact that my employment may be unstable so my future is at risk. And that it is okay.

My passage seems slower than the women in Shellenbarger's book but there is really no fixed time frame on this experience. Perhaps there is an element of safety once again in how I go about this. There is also the need to fully experience my children and not disrupt their lives in order to change mine. It is an opportunity to sketch out the next 30 years and then as time goes on to add colour and dimension to those sketches. There is a sense that life should not just happen but that I can orchestrate how it unravels! To a certain extent. (Not everything is within my control.)

I have one teen at home now. The other is gone to University. They have been my reason to be. And now they go forward to create their own lives. The second child's departure, coincidentally (I think not)occurs in the same year as my 55th birthday. Thus the 5 year plan ending at my 55th birthday. It aches to have my older son move on so I know it will be traumatic to watch my second move on.

If I stay in the same container life could be lonely and feel like the pieces are missing. If I start to move new pieces in place now, they will sweep me away when the time comes to say goodbye. I recall going off to University and out West when I was a teen and thinking of nothing except what was ahead. I know my sons are also experiencing that. I need to create a similar forward looking excitement in my own life. And why not. Thirty years ahead. I have so many great ideas!

Discontent

2010-09-01T13:00:00.000-07:00

Discontent is a sign of awakening. The awakening of things long buried that struggle to the surface of your reality. We need not fear this time, as discontent, while being uncomfortable, is our guide. Pointing out the way. Rustlings of priorities long since buried by responsibilites and accountabilities of being an adult. Why do we wait this long to follow our bliss? Maybe we followed our bliss and now the bliss has changed.

Discontent. When you feel it, it is hard to view it as good. You get this urge to bury it again because it feels awkward and hard to deal with. If we let it surface and sit and analyze the things that we are discontented with maybe it will create a positive momentum. Like if you do not deal with a problem, it seems to get bigger. Maybe if we do not let out our vague feelings of discontent and look at them in the sunlight, then we cannot deal with them and they rumble vaguely as a constant unidentified irritant.

So discontent is positive? Need to repeat that one a few times to really believe. But I see the potential in believing so I will work on this one.

Midlife Defined

2010-09-01T12:25:00.000-07:00

I cannot recall who said this line but it is the most perfect definition of midlife that I have seen. Midlife is the time when you no longer look at how old you are but instead you count the years you have left. Up until now, I had never thought of how many years I had left. Now it is how I view my life.

When you think of how many years you have left and then feel your power to fill those years with content of your own choosing, it is quite exhilarating and intimidating at the same time.

I can all of a sudden identify women in my life who have moved through this experience at different ages. One friend left a high paying job, climbed Kilimanjaro and then went to school for her PhD. Another friend went to the Philippines and when she returned she left her husband and is now considering other changes in her life.

Women want changes that matter. It is not a new man or a new car that satisfies our deepest longings but rather the things that feel right, satisfy our need for authenticity and the things that touch our heart songs.

I did an exercise with a coach once and she asked to me list 30 personal qualities that were important to me. I listed 8 and could not think of anymore. When we spoke she encouraged me to extend the list. I did get to 30 eventually and then she asked me to choose the 3-4 that were most important to me. Then, ironically, I had trouble shortening the list to 4. Here is what I ended up with:

Personal Power defined as strength, belief in myself, clarity.

Authenticity defined as friendship, trust and being my authentic self.

Continuous Learning defined as Knowledge, Achievement and Trying New Things.

Freedom defined as Adventure, Choice and Variety.

At any point in our lives that list will change and grow and some choices that did not make the final list will now move up the list. Try to create your list of 30 things and you will see how interesting and difficult it is. And then shorten it. It is a great exercise in clarity. Your list will also point you in the right direction as you evaluate your ideas against the things that matter most to you.

A Bona Fide Midlife Crisis!

2010-09-01T11:50:00.000-07:00

For all of you who have been reading my blog each time I publish, I ask you this...has anyone noticed that this indeed is a bona fide midlife crisis in my life?

Here is how Cathy Meyer at about.com describes the symptoms of a midlife crisis.

Unhappiness with life and the lifestyle that may have provided you with happiness for many years.

Boredom with people and things that may have been of interest to you before.

Feeling a need for adventure and change.

Questioning the choices, you have made in your life and the validity of decisions made years before.

Confusion about who you are and where you are going.

Anger at your spouse and blame for feeling tied down.

Unable to make decisions about where they want to go with their life.

A few of these may apply given the content of my previous blogs. How about that. I am a typical person experiencing a midlife crisis. I wanted to view this time as something so much more positive than that.

I am experiencing my midlife crisis but I prefer to look at it as a midlife quest. A quest for new directions and things that matter. All the writings on the subject indicate that it is, despite it's trite handle, a redefining, reinventing stage of our lives and that we need to be patient and let the experience unravel as it should. There is a peaceful knowing in that.

That Goal Beyond the Goal...

2010-08-21T06:22:00.000-07:00

I realize that the goal beyond the goal is what keeps me working on the business. The business is great fun. Sometimes challenging. Sometimes hard work. Always rewarding. The immediate goal is to breathe life into the business I am working on.

But the primary goal is to gain freedom in my life to do the things that create happiness and harmony in my days. Early Retirement. Maybe. That is the big goal. The rest of it is the means to the end. The means to the end must create pleasure or it is in opposition to the primary goal. The business will be part of my early retirement and it will hopefully fund a part of it. So I need to like it.

The goal beyond the goal is what keeps me executing step by step for the business to go forward. Not a bad motivator. Whenever I wonder why I working on this, I flash forward to the place I am creating for the future. Need to focus on the parts that move me forward. Sometimes in the busy-ness of getting all the little things done we push aside the things that really matter.

"How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I'm committed to?" Anthony Robbins.

Need to have a plan for what tomorrow looks like. Otherwise it will look frighteningly similar to today. (Not awful just uninspiring)Then I need to add to the list, the things that move me toward that plan.

5 Year Plan Update

2010-08-17T07:43:00.000-07:00

At the halfway point of my five year plan. Time to check in on my progress to date. My five year plan put me in a place where I can have the freedom to fill my days with my choices. To travel, to sit and be, to have time and experiences that excite me. To add more authenticity to my life. So how am I doing?

The answer is that very little on the outside has changed since I set the initial goal. That is to an outsider looking in, I am still doing what I have always done. I am still enjoying my time with my children immensely. The days with them here become fewer and fewer so I value that time more and more. I still work my same job although I have cut back on my client list so that I can have time to explore alternative directions.

The biggest thing that has changed since the inception of the five year plan, is that I believe that I can change the quality of my days. I was not sure I could and now I am sure. Most days. I have slowed my pace significantly spending time with only those people who make my heart sing. Reduced the social whirlwind by saying no. I exercise every day for about an hour and a half a day and I miss it on the days when I cannot fit it in. I am making headway on the business, that although it is still on life support, is showing positive signs.There is no travel or cause related activity in my life yet. But I still have two and a half years left of my timeline. To make more changes.

My intent is not to make changes that are visible to others but to make changes that are meaningful in my life. Helps to keep that in sight. I am intensely motivated by setting goals and creating change for the better. When I have no goals life takes on a feeling of mediocrity that is not awful but not inspiring. I like to feel inspired.

Leo Tolstoy says that "True life is lived when tiny choices are made. Tiny choices mean tiny changes. But it is only with infinitesimal change, changes so small no one else even realizes you're making them, that you have any hope for transformation."

If Today Was Your Last Day

2010-08-07T06:36:00.000-07:00

I was running yesterday and listening to Nickelback on my headset. "If Today was Your Last Day". Cool lyrics from a young person.

"My best friend gave me the best advice,
he said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned
Leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
Tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday..
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride with your whole life...."

My first thought while hearing these lyrics was "how does a kid with very little experience come up with this stuff?" Mick Jagger was 20 something when he wrote "you can't always get what you want...but if you try sometime you just might find...you get what you need." Tortured artists who mature quicker than the rest of us? Pretty impressive to be young and see life as it is.

Second thought. If today was my last day what would I do? Although I love to run, I probably would not run if it was my last day. I would spend the day drinking wine with friends and eating all kinds of amazing, inspired foods. I would also have some Baskin & Robbins world class chocolate ice cream. And then I would want to give my money away to places that mattered to me. That is all I would want to do. 24 hours with the people that matter most. (If it was my last month or year I would definitely travel.)

Third thought. The list of things you would and would not do if you had 24 hours left are not really conducive to what is needed for a long life. We need to work and exercise and eat moderately and do some things that we prefer not to do. If I ate and drank and hung out with friends to the exclusion of all else, I would definitely not have a long life.

So although Chad has great and profound sentiment in his song we need to live with a balance of both long term plans, mixed with that last day, quality of experiences.

Madonna on Letterman

2010-08-04T12:59:00.000-07:00

Madonna was on Letterman last night. Dave asked her if motherhood stood out as the greatest accomplishment on her list. Madonna hesitated then said, and I am paraphrasing as I cannot recall her exact words. I guess the socially acceptable answer to that question is yes. Always honest. Always controversial.

She risked being viewed as a 'bad' mother by not immediately gushing out a yes to that question. But I do not think she really cared. She loves and cares for her children, maybe excessively like the rest of us. But is it her greatest accomplishment? That is a tough list to top for Madonna.

She highlighted that motherhood is right up there on the list but that at any given time it may not be her number 1 accomplishment. We evaluate ourselves on so many different levels and so finding number 1 is a bit of of a nebulous exercise. Our children may challenge us so that at any given time the experience is not our list topper. In the end like Madonna if we love them intensely and care for their needs then there need not be a hierarchal list of accomplishments. There is no list. Dave was wrong.

Free Hugs

2010-07-29T06:46:00.000-07:00
A good friend sent me this and I thought it worth watching. Enjoy.

Symbols of Freedom

2010-07-28T05:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I bought a new car. I have never been a car person. For the most part if the car starts when I turn the key, I am okay with whatever I am driving. This car was different. It is the car I have admired from afar with no real intentions of ever having one. Just looking.

It is a convertible. Somewhat symbolic in the sequence of cars that have passed through my life...various vans and larger cars with room for hockey bags, knapsacks,luggage and golf clubs for my children and their large varied group of friends whom I have driven around in the last 20 years. On the new car, when the hood is down there is no room in the trunk for my purse (bit of exaggeration but you get the idea).

The car is about how it feels, not how it looks. (Although I did analyze my reasoning on this before buying the car.) I think I am about how it feels and how it fits with my quest for personal freedom. Freedom from being who I should be. Freedom from expectations. Freedom from financial obligations. Freedom from work that pays the bills but does not feed my soul.

When I look at my life, it is so great in so many ways. Maybe this dissatisfaction with a satisfying life is a catalyst to rocket me to the new place that represents the next stage in my development. Van Breathnach thinks the world sees behaviors such as this as a midlife crisis of sorts. She says that it is not a midlife crisis but rather a precursor to creating a new life that fits with the person who you have become. We created a life when we were young that suited who we were then. And we are still living it now even though we have become someone else. So it doesn't fit anymore and therein lies the source of our dissatisfaction.

What fun it is to create the new life. Consciously evaluating all the things that make your heart sing! Then slowly but surely making those things a part of my life. Then to work the financial side of it to support the lifestyle I am creating.

Here's to symbols of freedom! They make you able to see and touch a part of the nebulous cloud that you are moving towards.

Pushing Against Myself

2010-07-25T18:40:00.000-07:00

I went to the Canadian Open today. I was not planning to. The tickets were available and there was no one to take them. I woke up this morning and looked at the drive and the whole day and felt like I did not want to go. It seemed to be too much trouble. But I went.

I had the best time! I saw new things that I had not experienced. I had a great time with my teenage son. Fits right in with my goal of experiencing new things. I was outdoors all day on a sunny, warm day. It was truly unbeatable.

But I want to go back and analyze my distinct reticence about going. Trying new things brings out a strange resistance in me. An actual feeling of not wanting to go. Looking for reasons why I shouldn't. Thinking of the chaos of the large group of people. Parking. Highway driving. Easier to stay home. I thought of all the reasons it would not make sense to go. Where does that resistance come from?

New memo to self. Watch and conquer this resistance. It keeps me where I am and inhibits my plan to experience new things. Interesting how I can be my own foil. Helps to be honest with yourself about how you behave. It lets you face your demons and realize they are not frightening at all!

Happiness and Joy

2010-07-23T08:40:00.000-07:00

A fascinating distinction between the definition of two words that on first blush seem synonymous. Happiness and joy would seem to be minor variations of feeling good.

Look deeper and read the book "Something More" by Sarah Ban Breathnach. She defines Happiness as a feeling often "triggered by an external event. You got the job, he loved you back, you were approved for your mortgage application." Events that happen as you hoped they would. You asked for something and you got it and now you are feeling happiness.

Although Joy seems like simply a heavenly permutation of happiness it is more. Simply stated, "Joy is the absence of fear." No matter what outcome you achieve from your efforts, you recognize that that outcome is the right one. If you did not get the result that you were hoping to get, there is a new and better result awaiting you. "Something better, something richer, something deeper". A profound acceptance of what is.

The absence of fear is a profound state of joy. No longer do you fear losing your job, losing all your money, having your children move away. When you reach that state of acceptance of what is and see each change as an opportunity to take a new path, there is no longer fear. When fear goes, joy rushes in to fill the space.

Fear reflects our resistance to change. And the fact that we like to control our outcomes. This goes back to a previous blog entry on finding the middle ground between managing your outcomes and letting life happen as it should. We want what we want. And sometimes we do not get it. Look forward, not back when this happens. There is more waiting for you. Looking back is about control, regret, unhappiness. A negative spiral of inactivity.

I am able to achieve this joy in rare enviable moments and these brief moments inspire me to reach for a longer extended version of that joy. It is like eating chocolate. It just feels good. I want more.

Photo compliments of http://www.trekearth.com/gallery/Europe/Romania/East/Brasov/Piatra_Craiului/photo440669.htm

Trying New Things

2010-07-18T07:16:00.000-07:00

I was reading 500 Places Where You Can Make a Difference. Part of the plan now. From tagging marine life to teaching English on a short term basis to spending a month on a archeological dig, it provides an endless source of intriguing ways to spend your time after work. And make a difference. No long term commitment. You work 2-3 weeks on a project. You can return to a site anytime if there is one that excites you. They are landed costs only so no airline ticket is included. They involve travel all over the world. Some of them are expensive and some are free. Most of them cost something but there are some free opportunities as well.

There is an airline ticket on a separate site that costs between $6000-8000 and you can travel around the world for a year with this ticket. There is a neat app on the site that lets you map out your route. You choose your route and destinations and that is it. Go to airtreks.com to explore the routes you can take and feed your imagination with the possiblities. The very act of planning a route makes you realize how big the world is and how much there is to experience. And, as an aside how little time.

Teach swimming to children in Fiji. (Did you know that drowning is the leading cause of death in young people in Fiji?) Caring for baby elephants in Sri Lanka. Definitely fits with my goal of trying new things. But not too dangerous. I have no desire to be, say, on a war front as a journalist. But I do crave new experiences. I prefer to be immersed in a culture rather than being a tourist and that is what these programs will do. You work alongside the people who live there and they train you with any skills they would like you to have.

I am going to build a dozen of these experiences into my early retirement plan. Who knows? I may love it enough to continue on year after year until I cannot.

Zen

2010-07-12T18:43:00.000-07:00

I was reading Robin Sharma today. I like his stuff. I always find a piece of something that I can use. Here is the one for today. (I have paraphrased his thoughts. I hope I do him justice) Life is a delicate balance between making things happen and letting things happen. Too much of either side is not desirable. On one side you seek to control your outcomes too much. On the other you just let life carry you in the current.

Robin says that "Life will always lead you to a better place". If things do not work out the way you had hoped, after you have given it your all, then sit back and let whatever is happening, just happen. Harder to do than it sounds when you have a vested interest in your outcome. That second click is the sound of a door opening to a new path. "Because every ending ushers in a brand-new beginning". I love that thought. The idea to trust that life really is going to work out is pretty phenomenal. The proof is that as I look back on my life, the outcomes that I thought I did not want led me to a good place.

Try to apply this thinking when something in life does not go the way you had planned. It is tough but if you do it you will find yourself in a place of relaxation and peace. That lets you see the next possibility and lets you hear that little second click as the new path is illuminated. Results in a sort of que sera feeling. You trust that this outcome did not happen as you had planned but that there is a new adventure waiting just ahead. Great way to view life. One adventure after another. What should I choose to do next.

Creating a new path lets you look forward instead of wishing for what was. Sometimes what was, was not all that great in retrospect. Kind of the devil you know though. If we take away one thought from this, it is to trust that it will all work out. Zen.

From Robin Sharma "The Greatness Guide"

Pre-Magnificence

2010-07-07T18:28:00.000-07:00

There is a line in the movie "The Natural" that is significant. "I believe we have two lives. The life we learn with, and the life we live after that." How profound. This life to date has been all about learning how to live. Now we get to do it! What fun that predicts for the future. If I have 20 years or so left...what do I still need to see. Like being in Rome and you only have a week left. What are the things you still need to see before you go home.

In the book "Something More" Sarah Ban Breathnach calls the restlessness before we grow, our premagnificent stage. The restless time right before we break out into our second life. The time when we look at our lives and they are not so bad but now we want something more. More what? I don't know.It is funny to look at how much I have, how positive my life is and wonder why I want to shake it up. She gives you permission to say it is okay to want more and okay to feel discontent. If between now and this day 2011, we did one new thing each day what would our world look like then? Definitely different. 365 new choices...1 each day. Sounds like fun!

Breathnach also speaks of Divine Discontent. "Discontent and disorder are signs of energy and hope, not despair." She speaks of feeling exposed and fragile. This is the turmoil that you feel in your premagnificent stage. If you view this turmoil as the time before your big breakout then it seems like a positive thing. Neat way to view it. About to launch Book 2. Book 1 was very good. I am looking for some unique new experiences in Book 2.

New Goal

2010-07-06T18:24:00.000-07:00

I am away at the cottage for some much needed R&R. Good friends. Good food. Good wine. Shared a great wine with friends last night. A 2007 Seghesio Family Vineyards Zinfandel. The sum of the wine, the food, the friends equalled an amazing night last night. It was one of those moments when it all came together. Those are special moments. Friends from 40 years ago. Still friends. Lucky us.

This is a great break from the business stress and pressure. But it does not stop while I am away. Still making arrangements with our packer from the US. The product in its finished form will be shipping next week. That also means some welcome influx of cash. My sales manager is prepping the shipments. We are a bonified business. My new goal is to achieve 500 new accounts. That will create a great pull on the inventory and a reasonable offset to the debt the company has incurred to date. I am going to meet with my sales manager when I return to share the new goal with her. 500 accounts. We currently have about 160 accounts so it is not unachievable depending on the sales group choices to remain with us or leave us when the contract expires. Either way we go forward to our 500 goal. Lofty but not impossible. I put it in writing and shared it with the world so it makes it that much more powerful.

Setting a goal in that way makes everything you do need to point in that direction. Each action needs to move us closer to the goal. We need to ask...does that action get us another store or stores? If not we need to move forward on actions that do. Already I am feeling pulled in the right direction. My enthusiasm and momentum are focused on that goal. 500. It's out there.

Seeing The Future

2010-06-27T14:16:00.000-07:00

I have reached a peaceful place with the cost I have incurred to getting the business going. They used to shock me to have risked our long term security to this extent. Not anymore. Somewhere in my mind I have dealt with it, processed it and then accepted it. Now to keep working on offsetting that number with product sales.

Interesting how a state of anxiety can suddenly let up. There are no choices to make, no more money to be spent...just sales to create. The task is clear. Interesting after the turmoil to have arrived in this place. I can do this. On some days I think I cannot do this but today I know I can. One foot in front of the other. The fun comes back now too. it was obliterated by the worry. Now once again I see the goals ahead of what I hoped this could be. Once again I remind myself that there are strange little success stories based on products that are not nearly as functional as the one we make.

This is the place where lots of people can easily see the sense in abandoning the task. It is quitting within 3 steps of the goal without actually knowing how close you were. It is when you look back and view the way it was and see how simple it was and then you ask yourself what you are doing on this road. I know why I am on this road so the bumps are just part of the scenery. The progress is slow but still in the right direction. Retailers are buying the product and then reordering. Sales people are excited to sell the line. All the indicators are good. A crystal ball would be nice right about now.

Crisis? What Crisis?

2010-06-22T18:08:00.000-07:00
A favorite speaker says that every person is always in one of the following situations. Either we are about to enter a crisis in our lives, or we are in the middle of a crisis or we have recently emerged from a crisis. Sad but quite possibly true. It makes life a series of coping steps that we take to deal with each crisis as we enter it. Those who have coping ability survive their crises and emerge with new talents and strengths.

Therefore the problem only comes when we expect life to be completely smooth. If we expect a series of crises in our lives then it becomes a simple exercise in coping with each as they come. Maybe if we viewed it this way, it would feel normal and peaceful to move from crisis to crisis. Peaceful and steady. Sounds a little fatalistic doesn't it? But not really. I am hopelessly optimistic. But I still think the crisis theory is solid. Crises only become critical and frightening if we don't expect them to happen. Takes all the fear from the crisis when you know it is coming.

And if crises represent growth opportunities then bring them on....

The Captain is Expecting Turbulence

2010-06-12T16:15:00.001-07:00

I am listening to Brian Tracey on my IPOD and he likens starting any new project to the takeoff in an airplane. He says we always experience turbulence when we take off. As an ex flight attendant, I know the exact time when that turbulence begins. The pilot makes an announcement that we should stay buckled in as we are expecting turbulence. The air currents from the ground create turbulence and going through the cloud layer creates turbulence. So we always expect turbulence after takeoff.

So I took off. And now I am experiencing turbulence. The sales group that we were contracted to work with has cancelled the contract as they themselves are under siege by competition. They have decided they need to focus on their own company's survival.

That leaves us with 60,000 units and no sales force. Hmmm...my first reaction was shock, fear and anxiety. I have since switched to coping mode. If you read my earlier blogs you saw the one that spoke of making a list of ten solutions to the problem. Then try one of the solutions. Try another if that one does not work and keep going until the problem is solved. I had to leave for a conference so I chose not to think about this for those two days. I would make my list of solutions on my return.

My sales manager however did act and she blasted us out of our dilemma in a big way. She went direct to the individuals in the sales group and found out they were loving the product. They were very enthusiastic and optimistic about its' potential. They are independent reps and thus are able to choose to stay with the line or not, even if the company who contracted with us no longer is on board. She also emailed a large chain(which I think should definitely carry the line) with the information about the line and they responded back with who we should contact to follow up. All in a good days work and now we are back on track. We can still build our rep group ourselves or we can go back to a napkin distributor and work through him.

The orders are coming in. 30 new stores now plus the original 20 and we are making progress. Just another issue to solve instead of shock, fear and anxiety. All the credit goes to my sales manager for turning this mountain into a bump!

All just post takeoff turbulence. We will break through the clouds any day now.

Life on My Terms

2010-06-06T07:21:00.000-07:00

My younger son just started his first job. He did not want to work to get a job but I pushed him by reducing the funding of his social life. He has a great job now and he is having a great time on the job. He has met new people and been successful at things that he did not know were out there. He moves from job to school to social life to chores and stays organized and gets it all done. All good things.

I should be excited and happy about this new independent person emerging. Instead I suddenly see the point where we start to upload obligations and accountability that now weigh heavily on us in our later lives. Maybe it is part of a whole evolution of growing up and growing older. You learn to manage the obligations and the related skills that come with those obligations. Then when these same obligations that taught us so much start to weigh heavily on us, we seek to shed them but still retain the skills that came with that stage. Is there a way to live freely throughout our entire evolution or is this a necessary growth stage?

We learn to spend our time achieving goals and doing the 'right'things. We stop listening to our heart. Our definition of what is 'right' gets narrower as we age too. What if we did the wrong things? What if we travelled the world and did not get a job. What if we followed our heart and did all the things that made out hearts sing when we are young. Is that failure? Who decides what is the right path and what is the wrong path. We look at and admire those who follow their own path and reach their definition of success. Yet we seek conformity and encourage conformity in our children.

Before I do things that scare me, I always wonder why did I book this or commit to this? After I do them, I know exactly why. If I can overcome the awkwardness of the beginning...when I do not know what to expect, then I can move on through with confidence. Need to accept that place where nothing is familiar and trust myself when I doubt.

For my next twenty years I want to live a modified Richard Branson version of my life. A little adventure, a lot of unique experiences. My crowning glory of a life on my terms. And maybe I will return to the sameness of the now and it will be the right place for me. When I die I do not want to look back at an unlived life of mediocrity and safety. A life where I did all the right things but missed all the rights things for me.

Yikes!

2010-06-03T06:11:00.000-07:00

China has delayed delivery by 3 weeks. Suddenly and unexpectedly. Printing delays. I am struck by the dilemma of the large outlay for North American production versus the simplicity of working with that same company. They have huge minimums so the initial outlay takes a risky bite out of my finances. Yet none of the complexity would have occurred had I used them and I would have product by now. The NA supplier does not carry the soft ply napkin I am getting from the Chinese supplier. But they supply a pure white colour that the Chinese supplier does not carry. Decisions and Choices.

I start to wonder why I am doing this. Somewhere deep inside I know why but on the surface I do wonder. I have decided to do nothing for a couple of days. Then I will need to define the strategy which will retain current customers while I await the shipment. A sales force is right now out selling a product that will not be ready for shipment until end of July. There is a definite need for an action plan here. I will go to that peaceful place and let my brain work on the problem. And then I will define the solutions to the issue. I will choose one and then I will act. One foot in front of the other.

Elusive Illusions

2010-05-26T16:59:00.000-07:00

Last year I made a commitment to Try New Things. I even named my Twitter account Try New Things! So 18 months later...did I try new things? Yes and no. At first I would make sure to try something new every day. I would plan a new thing to do every day. A new recipe, a new wine, a new route to work, a new sport. The goal was to shake up my world a little and change the way I saw that world.

Then life got in way and at the end of each day I would look back and review the day hoping I could find one thing new that I did that day. Then I would rationalize small events to suggest that I had done them differently and therefore I had done something new. The task of explaining it all to myself became the exercise. Instead of the renewed excitement I experienced when I actually did do something new.

Starting the business became a huge challenge and every step of the way I was trying something new. Bringing the product in from China was one challenge after another and although I enjoyed the learning, I was in over my head and I could not truly feel that simple joy of trying new things. Now we are learning new software, working with the hand collating plant and learning how to work with a new sales force. So every day there really is something new to learn and we learn as we go. It turns out there are many people who are willing to help or offer expertise just when I think I have reached an impasse. And so we move forward every day. Brian Tracy says that persistence is when you keep going after the shine of the new idea wears off. This is definitely that.

So maybe I am trying new things every day. They are small one foot in front of the other steps towards creating and selling the product. A friend told me I was one of the 10 most amazing people she knows. I am humbled by that compliment. I am ordinary but mighty. She made me stand a little taller. I saw myself in a different light. The light of an observer who does not see the anxieties and fears of my undertaking. It makes me realize that it is true that those who do, do so despite their fears.

The samples arrived from China today and I was struck by just how amazing it looked. For a moment I was back in the shiny new idea place. It reinforced the idea in my mind and let me see the big picture again.

Click on the image to watch the illusion!

Try New Things

2010-05-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

It is interesting that when we try new things it encourages us to try more new things. It gains a momentum all it's own. That first step out of the inertia of your comfort zone/anti-anxiety zone is the one that seems the hardest to take. Schedule it. Define it. Then do it at the specified time. I am going to do ____ (small goal) by _____ .(date)It is that simple.

I had fallen off my fitness schedule. In all his innocence my teenage son said why don't you just go to the gym. Hmmmmm. My mind was full of reasons but none of them strong enough to counter my son's inadvertent wisdom. I said to him I will go tomorrow and he said tomorrow you will have this social event(he named it) get in the way. You want to be strong for the summer he said. He is right on all counts. I went to the gym.

The first step behind you. The next one invites you. Now that you are out of your comfort zone that second step seems not as hard as the first. Your comfort zone has readjusted it's perimeter to become a larger circle. The first step accomplished invigorates you to look for step two. To set the second day and make it happen. Day by day your small achievements sum to an increasingly larger achievement. When you are successful it breeds a confidence that encourages you to push your limits in other areas of you life. Yesterday I blogged about achieving a state of happy because you are growing. Whenever you are melancholy choose a growth goal and take one step on the path to that goal. Define the second step and take it and pretty soon you are loping along a new and intriguing path towards a new you.

Every day I try something new. A new item in an old restaurant, a new wine from a new country, a new newspaper instead of my regular one, a new path on my regular running route. I talk to someone I would have never spoken to in my normal place. I download a new app and give it a try. A new shop that I have never been to. A book by an author I have never read. Once a month I try something bigger. I go to a wall climbing gym and take a quick lesson and climb the wall. I get the local college or recreation listings and take a course in an area that has interest to me. I read an old classic novel. I try a new foreign looking piece of equipment at the gym. I intuitively steer clear of the pieces of eqipment I do not know for fear of looking silly as I learn. Trying new equipment at the gym is another great analogy for life. Intermittent failure and looking silly are the price of growth.

The new experience creates an aha moment where we experience the world differently. Our sense of adventure, that fades as we age, needs to be rejuvenated. One new thing every day. As we try on new things our sense of adventure returns and those new things get bigger in scope. So does your comfort zone.

Credit where credit is due. Click on the picture to read the poem. It will inspire you and make you realize that you are not alone. This amazing poem was written by http://www.voiceoveruniverse.com/notes/Comfort_Zone Go to his blog.

Happiness

2010-05-22T07:12:00.000-07:00

William Butler Yeats wrote that "Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing or that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing." This is one of those succinct moments when you read or hear a thing and it pulls all the pieces of your puzzle into a full picture. How a simple phrase can reignite your passion. It makes me understand why despite having all that I have that I still feel like I am searching. It also reveals that happiness is not a point in time but instead is an everchanging state of being. It unwinds the complexity of the search for happiness. In all the times when I am least satisfied I can see that those are the times of the least growth.

Imagine all the different areas in which we can experience growth. We do not grow in all areas at the same time. A friend of mine, a single mom just moved in with her long time boyfriend. She is growing in the area of relatonships. Another friend watches her second child go off to University and needs to develop a new agenda. She is growing to define what pleases her now. She is developing a new agenda for her life. Another friend has started a business and left her job behind. She is growing in the emotional parts of her inner self that encourage self reliance and confidence. In all these instances, the early chaos gives way to a peaceful retrospective of what has occurred and how we have grown. It is only in glancing back that we can see that the chaos and emotion was a necessary prerequisite to this new plateau.

We do not need to grow in all areas at once. One area is enough. Two can be stimulating. When we grow in many areas at the same time the chaos is overwhelming. Sometimes life events force change. Then we grow in many ways at the same time. The unbearable tumult gives way to a new day with new skills and new strengths haphazardly acquired but valuable nonetheless.

Real life is a tennis volley back and forth between the search for safety and our need to grow. When we settle into our safe place our dissatisfactions gradually rise to where we break out in one area of our lives and seek growth. Small puddle jumps let us try on change but do not induce the heart pounding chaos that inspires true growth. The real growth comes when we abandon our safety net and leap across the unknown abyss. The abyss jumping extreme sport is not for the faint of heart!

At other times we retreat into the no growth zone and wallow in a melancholy from which we cannot break free. We fall into a place where we are recognizably dissatisfied but not confident enough to catapult ourselves into change. It is a strange unhappy place, safe because of it's familiarity but dangerous for the very same reasons.

When you risk your safe place for new growth you create a happiness quotient that far exceeds the inputs. Not ground breaking to repeat that we need growth to be happy but the reminder can shake you out of your safe place and encourage you to try something new. So long ago spoken, Yeats words still live. How profound.

Sporting Life 10 km

2010-05-02T10:52:00.000-07:00

I ran a 10km run down Yonge Street in Toronto this morning. Both my teenage sons joined me. It is a regular annual event that we run every spring and it always challenges me. I love it because it is a family event that we share amidst the madness of running around pursuing our own schedules. I love to share the event with my boys and their different friends who choose to join us each year.

A friend and her boys run it with us and it was interesting to see that over the years she and I help each other along. She was not strong this year and I found it interesting that I missed her strength moving me forward, but found my own strength to finish with a respectable time. It was an interesting analogy to real life as some years she is leading and encouraging and other years I am. Just depends on who is at a point of strength at that time. I waited for her to cross the finish line. My time did not matter. We are a team. It is what women do.

I looked around at all the people...I think there were 14,000 runners. All shapes and sizes and ages. All running for their own reasons. There was a man lying on the road at the 7km mark and they were doing CPR on him and I teared up at the thought of his family waiting at the finish line. I was struck by the fragility of being human. It made me look at all the runners with a new appreciation. It made me appreciate the strength of my own physical self. Life is fragile. I want to wake up every day and feel my power and my peace.

I want to enjoy this physical shell that is so intricately connected to the spirit that resides in it. How great it feels to push beyond my limits! How it feeds my body and mind to do that. It makes you accept your human-ness with all it's flaws and limitations and appreciate the strengths that have been dealt to you. Thank you Sporting Life!

Awfulizing

2010-04-29T10:06:00.000-07:00

Psychology Today has penned a beautiful version of how we deal with change and more so how we deal with thinking about change. I have copied and footnoted two excerpts below because they capture the spirit of the article. To get the full impact, and the article is definitely worth reading in it's entirety, go to http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200611/you-20

In the excerpts below Carlin Flora outlines the two items that stop us in our tracks when we attempt to change. The first is our fear of failure and the second is how terrifying stepping out in new directions can actually be. My children as teens do not have these fears. It would be interesting to know the circumstances under which I acquired these fears although I suspect that they came about so gradually as not to be noticed.

"Overcome Your Fear of Failure

You could quit your banking job and open an antiques shop or move to Romania to live with your online love. But what if it doesn't work out? What will everyone say about you then? The fear of public humiliation can keep us safe, if not content. Simply ask, "What is the likelihood that the thing I fear will come true?" says Lubetkin. And then, "If it does come true, will it really be as bad as I think?" Our minds tend to cue the worst-case scenario, what psychologists call "awfulizing." But even shaky startups and broken hearts can be remedied.

Those who would judge you may not even notice your missteps. If they do, they would be smart to think your behaviors—and not you as a human being—are what failed. Temporary slips are crucial to eventual success, Leahy says. "When I was an undergraduate, a classmate of mine got a C on a paper in his economics course about an idea for an overnight mail service. Two years after college, he took that blueprint and started FedEx."

Embrace Risk and Novelty

Even if no one is watching you, lighting out for new, unmarked territories is terrifying. We overestimate dangers and risks, Lubetkin says, because oftentimes our parents—especially if they are overprotective—teach us that danger is to be avoided at all costs.

Pelusi sees a distal cause for skittishness in the face of change. "We impute a lot of power to the unknown, because it was life-threatening for much of human history," he says. "Putting that fear in its proper perspective can help. You are probably not going to fall down a ravine or get eaten by a lion if you move to the opposite coast."

At the same time, points out Pelusi, the human spirit wants to break out of habitual constraints. Studies confirm what many an entrepreneur or divorcee will tell you: We tend to regret the things we didn't try more than those we did—even when we fail.

Analyzing risk in the classic "Should I stay or should I go?" scenario can bring on headaches or even paralysis. Lubetkin recommends that you write down the pros and cons of each situation and then weight them numerically, according to how important they are to you. But then you must also factor in the more subjective "gut" feelings. Flip a coin in order to hypothetically decide your fate, then take note of how you react to the outcome. "

How succinct. I needed to capture that to reread in my times of discontent.

Small Acts

2010-04-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

It is interesting that as I work on the details for the business, they make me feel like I am a very small business labouring in anonymity from my kitchen island. The small actions make me feel like the business is small. I have 14 reps selling across Canada now. I have 60,000 units arriving in from China in 6 weeks. I have a sales manager who works for the company and loves what she does. Things are not small anymore.

So when I look at many larger companies, their business too, is also made up of endless small actions made by many people. Hotel chains are made up of many people at all levels doing many small actions that build to the functioning of a whole huge hotel chain. Apple Computers is a large group of people doing many small actions each day. So my small actions build to the whole and that is what I need to stay focused on. Each of those small activities in my day builds to the success of the whole. It makes every act important.

Sometimes when you feel uninspired it is rooted in one of two opposing thoughts. The first is that the things you are doing are small and insignificant to the whole big goal. The second is the intimidation of just how big the goal looks when you look at it in it's entirety and say "I'll never get there". The solution to either is just to take action. When you're feeling stuck just remind yourself to take action, any action even on the small stuff. Action begets action and pretty soon you are rolling along again. Many small tasks building to the big result.

Nobody starts out big. Everybody starts with all those seemingly insignificant actions that build momentum and help you to become what you are becoming.

Dreams and Reality

2010-04-24T13:18:00.000-07:00

I miss the dreamy time where I would invent a product in all it's glory and detail. It is, in retrospect, the easy part. The easy part is that glorious research where you dream up the product and what it looks like. In my case, it was fun to work through the different themes for the trivia lines and determine the questions that would appeal most to my future customer.

And here I am, product available, dreams in the rear view mirror. I am working through all the little details that constitute the road to having a thriving line. These are the realities and they are a stark contrast to the dream. I still have the dream intact in my mind but it requires distinctly hard work to achieve it. It is the part that any budding entrepreneur does not think about when forming the dream. It is the artist who has decided to sell their artwork. It is the consultant with a great message who has to let the world know about it. It is the professional who returns to school to train for their new dream and now has to write exams. It is the product developer who must find a channel for distributing their product.

JFK dreamed of putting a man on the moon. He had people to take care of the actual execution of the dream. He drove it but others filled in the details.

The detail part is not a bad thing. Just distinctly different than the dream phase. Practical. Perplexing. Painfully incremental. Factual. Expensive. Risky. Exhiliarating at the same time!

If You Only Do One Thing Let It Be This....

2010-04-23T17:42:00.000-07:00

I have in past years started several other businesses. I met with varying levels of success on each. One I sold, one I closed down (it was before the Internet and channels for publicity were expensive and tough to get to) and the third I almost sold but in the end it did not go through. No big losses.No big wins. Good tax deductions all. Most of all...lots of fun.

In all this the one thing that was missing was the ability to grow from a single operator to higher levels of success. And the secret ingredient that lets one grow is....drum roll....a sales person(s). You can have a great idea for a product. You actually prototype a great product. You find customers who would like to buy your product. But in the end, you need to be able to roll it out. And that requires a team of people dedicated to selling your product. Let this be the one thing that you plan for if you come up with a great new product idea. Investigate the sales channel in detail and if possible get committments to support your sales efforts in advance of creating the product. The best product in the world will go nowhere if nobody knows it is out there. Lesson learned. I have a great team of sales people for the new line and it seems to be working. It is amazing to have a team of people dedicated to selling your line. How quickly you can move forward. Create a plan dedicated to how you are going to get the product or service in front of the people who might buy it. Make that as important as the original idea.

Set Backs

2010-04-23T06:25:00.000-07:00

Interesting that this morning I had a major set back on the business. My off shore supplier can only supply a product colour slightly off from the one I had requested. I am working towards a sales launch that is already in motion and the timing is very tight. There is no time to negotiate the improved colour match.

Being strangely positive this morning despite the setback, I outlined the options. I can proceed with my off shore supplier, taking a colour of product slightly off from my desired alternative OR I can move to US production, get the exact product, a shorter timeline but at double the cost. I looked at these two options very clinically this morning and surprised myself with how easily I moved from disaster mode to problem solving mode. It is a choice of this or that. Simple. When you remove the emotion it becomes a decision just like the ones I made when I worked for a major corporation in product development. This or that. Choose and go forward.

W. Clement Stone says "Everyone who achieves success in a great venture, solves each problem as they came to it. They helped themselves...they keep going regardless of the obstacles they met."

I was in a trade show this past weekend that was not necessarily my ideal sales channel but strangely it provided an unexpected gift. As consumers all the retailers who came through gave me outstandingly positive feedback on the product itself. The show was very well attended and the attention was 100% positive. My money's worth in unexpected ways.

I know the product is excellent; I have a sales force across the country already in motion and providing very positive early feedback. I need to solve this issue and move on. Short term I will stay with the off shore supplier but anticipate moving to the North American supplier as the product gets rolling. Cash flow is king right now and the off shore option frees up my cash flow even as it presents problems that may not exist with a North American manufacturer.

From last year when I had a set back and packed it all up and put it away, to this year as I steadily plough through the issues required to get to market. I like the personal growth that comes with these challenges.

Affirmations and Visualizations: Help or Hype?

2010-04-20T15:17:00.000-07:00

Never been a huge fan of visualization and affirmations. They always seemed a little trite to me. Like the little engine that could repeating "I think I Can...I think I Can..." and then he does. Cute but not powerful. The question is can you convince yourself and leap past your doubts by thinking over and over that you can do it. It strikes me that there needs to be a little more to it than that. So I was skeptical.

It seems though that there is some science behind this in that our Reticular Activating System, the RAS, acts as a filter, reducing the impact of repeated stimuli such as loud noises, helping to prevent our senses from being constantly overloaded. It lets us focus on only those things that we need to keep on functioning. It makes it so that we do not need to respond to all the stimuli that come by our senses. That means that an incredible amount of stimuli that happen in our environment are simply ignored by our brain and processed briefly by the RAS. We simply do not notice them.

Those pieces of information going by could contain information that we need but we never process. Herein lies the connection to visualizations and affirmations. If our brain assumes we only need a fixed group of information, then that is what we see. When we introduce our future as if it is now through visualization, our brain passes different information to us based on what happens around us.

Have you ever bought a car and then afterwards notice that there are many of the same car on the road that until now you had not noticed. Your brain moving relevant information into your consciousness. Amazing.

So do I believe in visualization and affirmations? I believe in the RAS and how it functions so I believe that visualized experiences make us see different inputs from our environment. The RAS is also relatively active during REM sleep which is our dream state and quiet outside the REM sleep. Smart stuff. Worth a try.

Paradox

2010-04-19T18:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when life gets really overwhelming I want to return to my safe place. The demands of a full time job and trying to get the new business off the ground along with caring for my two teenage sons. Too many lists. Too many sticky notes with reminders hanging on mirrors, on daytimers, on the car dashboard. Phone calls forgotten. Appointments missed. I want to return to the place where I used to be. I tell myself it would not be so bad to do this job until retirement. Then I realize that is my protective centre trying to lull me back to the safety of what was. That place that I know well and feel competent in what needs to be done. The paradox is that the place where I am safe fails to stimulate me.

Funny little roller coaster this is. When I go to that safe place, I seek stimulation and new frontiers. When I am on the new frontier, I seek safety and familiarity. How complicated is this push and pull between safety and adventure.

Truthfully if given the chance to go back, I would choose to go forward. I am now so far into the project that there is no going back. It is feasible that this point of no return committment will be exactly what I needed to stop me from packing it in and going home, so to speak. This is just anxiety about the new frontier that makes me look back at where I was and deem it to be a desireable place.

I feel brave and competent about the new project. Things are actually going very well. Some of the challenges ahead look scary but often challenges get smaller as you approach them. Usually because you are smarter than when you viewed them from far away. I will just look one step ahead at a time so as not to intimidate myself with the size of my goal.

Baby Tactics

2010-04-17T14:13:00.000-07:00

Success can be defined as persisting until you reach your goals. It may come to us in a different format than we thought it would. The best quote on this is from T. Harvey Eker and he says to "just get into the corridor". Get out there and try things and your success will come in ways you could never imagine when you were hidden away in your room dreaming! I use that thought all the time. I get into the corridor...it encourages me to try a solution when I am not sure what the next step could be.

Failure is to stop working on your goals as soon as you meet up with a challenge. This statement gives us amazing control over our success and failure. If we keep moving toward our goal in new ways we will eventually arrive at the goal. That is success! If we quit moving towards our goals then that is failure! Simple and Powerful! Step by step. That did not work? Okay what else can I try. Over and over until you eventually get to the goal. And you will reach that goal if you do this. Guaranteed!

Sometimes having a powerful goal beyond the initial goal can give you the gift of persistence that lets you continue to move towards your powerful goal. So here is an example of a goal beyond a goal. I would like to work for myself and be free to spend my time according to my preferences. That is my main goal. I need to have some income to pursue that goal. So I created a product and put it out to the market. That is my active goal. To make the product successful. So this is my goal within the goal. I am motivated to achieve my product goal because it is my pass to achieve my bigger goal. My lifestyle goal.

I am no different than those who have achieved these goals for themselves. Financial goals, goals about freedom, authenticity. People are making their way to these goals every day. I am not any different than these people except that they have done the hard work of getting there.

We are all born risk takers. It is how we learn. A baby learns to walk by falling and getting up and trying again. He navigates tall stairs by turning around and going down backwards without being able to always see where he is going. Let us do what babies do and challenge our world. Let us use baby tactics to accomplish our goals. Like a baby, be fearless and focused to accomplish the task you desire.

Just Go A Little Bit Further!

2010-04-16T13:53:00.000-07:00

This is a blog post from Millionaire Moms and it really spoke to me today. So here it is! Thanks to Joyce at Millionaire Moms!

"I had an experience the other day that felt like a metaphor for my life. I was driving down a road I often get confused on. There are twists and turns that make it a challenge to remember which way to go. I started feeling like I had made a wrong turn. I thought, “I’ll just go a little further and see.” Which I did. Ultimately though I doubted myself & turned around in favor of the “safe way” I was familiar with.

The safe way meant I added extra time, travel & aggravation to my day. The funny thing is I realized the very spot I turned around at was a mere 100 yards away from landmarks I would have recognized as having been the right way to go. If I had only gone just a little bit longer…

This felt like a metaphor for my business. I had been feeling discouraged that day. I was driving thinking about all the work that needed doing. Overwhelm set in & I started questioning if I was making the right decisions purusing this dream? I have made tremendous strides over the year but it didn’t feel like enough. I have been working really hard. I was tired and felt very alone in my journey.

These thoughts came to an abrupt halt once I figured out I had been so close to successfully nagivating the road I was traveling. I had quit moments before I experienced the breakthrough. We have all heard the saying, “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” I decided right there & then I wouldn’t quit my business no matter how tired or hopeless I felt. I would soldier on. Victory goes to the decided heart! I would work smarter not harder.

A few days later I was presented with an opportunity that could really take my business to the next level. What if I had quit that day? I would never have known. I want to encourage you in your business journey to have a decided heart. You never know when you are just around the corner of success!"

Trivia Party Starters

2010-04-09T10:20:00.000-07:00

Our company has a sales force now across Canada. They begin in July to sell the product. Signed an agreement. Nice development. The product samples are arriving from China over the next couple of weeks for proofing. We will be on shelf in July this year. I have a sales manager who manages all the details and she is fabulous and enthusiastic! We go into our first show next week. We will see how sales perform at that show. They may not represent our ideal type of store but definitely a fun step forward. It is a buying show too so we will see if we get orders.

I cannot believe how far we have come. This is on the borderline of breaking out. I was brainstorming some new products to follow up today and some great ideas are on paper to make sure that when I move to this full time, I will be able to sustain an income over the long term. I cannot believe how many hurdles I have leaped and how I now view hurdles as something to solve rather than an indication to stop. It seems easy but in looking back over early entries in this blog, it may be that it is not easier but that I have grown. Hurray!

Sometimes growth happens so slowly and imperceptibly that it is difficult to realize that you have made progress at all. I have this feeling of having tip toed through a minefield and now I can see the exit. I was on a website today where mom entrepreneurs talk about their products and challenges. Some of the products on there should never have made it to market yet people are making a living on them. Just perspective. I think our product is going to be grandly successful in time.

Need to focus on sales, strategically introduce solid new products, and provide excellent service. I am excited to have spent my whole life in sales in one form or another and now I will not be selling (not directly). Interesting and telling. I like the strategic element of creating the company, launching new products and directing our expansion to new markets. This part is really fun!

Pushing Your Limits

2010-04-02T19:12:00.000-07:00

I rode my bicycle 75 km today. I didn't plan to ride 75 km or to take 5 hours but the destination I chose took 5 hours instead of the planned 3 hours. At the 3 hour point I spoke to another cyclist stopped at a store and he asked me if I was alright. My response...yes I am fine...I am a my limit but fine. I went back to my map to figure out how much longer my route would take. I concluded that I had another hour or so. I could push through that. I was feeling tapped out. No energy to spare. I got back on my bike, determined to make my goal. Then I hit the big hills on the route. Nice timing. It was here that my mind took over. I had nothing left physically but was determined to make the destination. I hit my limits and kept on going. It turned out the route was two more hours so I really had to push.

So here's the conumdrum. My limits existed well beyond what I had assumed they were. I made the whole distance that I had planned, going well beyond what I had originally thought. I set limits that were seemingly difficult but when pushed I was able to achieve far more than I had originally thought.

I need to take this lesson learned and apply it to how I live my life. Am I setting goals that don't stretch my limits? Without stretching we do not grow and learn. With moderate goals we achieve moderate results. Need to stretch a little more and create some '5 hour' goals for my life. Neat learning.

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!

2010-03-18T16:20:00.000-07:00

Susan Jeffers speaks of Feeling the Fear and Doing it Anyway! She says those who achieve great things do not live in the absence of fear but rather live alongside fear as a constant ever present companion. What a concept. Fear does not go away when you do the thing you fear. Fear arises when you are working outside your comfort zone. When you are growing. Fear and growth go hand in hand. So, when you feel fear you can translate it into "I am growing". It changes the playing field.

I made a large investment into the business. I placed the order. I broke through the fear that until now I had found many reasons not to act. And now it is done. Now I have a responsibility to continue with the details that close that deal and earn the money back. It has moved from a dream to a reality. I am in the corridor.
It is no longer scary. It no longer feels huge. A mountain into a molehill.

Interesting that all that I read says that things will flow smoothly when they are meant to happen. Things are coming together for this project and each time a challenge arises, something shows up to solve it. Is that because I am open to many solutions, seeking answers to my challenges rather that being quick to shut down in response to things not going as planned. Maybe.

Younger Next Year!

2010-03-18T14:01:00.000-07:00

I could not resist a post about this book. I absorbed every page and will act on the knowledge. 90% of the ailments that plague older women are preventable. Knowledge is strength. He has 3 recommendations but the general content and style of the book is readable and actionable and not at all preachy. I loved it.

Here is what I took away from the book:
1. Do one hour of aerobic exercise each day. Doesn't matter what it is. It just has to raise your heart rate to 60% of your maximum. Do the thing you love to do but do it at 60% of your heart rate. Buy a heart rte monitor. Easy and fascinating.
2. Strength train 2-3 times a week. Push a little.
3. Be happy. Smile. Take life easy. Don't get grumpy.

3 easy pieces. I can do that. I go 10 km every day but now I monitor my heart rate to maximize my range for fat burning. He says that mid body fat that creeps up does not need to be there and besides that, it is dangerous. 1 in 3 women have heart disease. Totally preventable. I like that.

The book gave me control over my gradual descent into old age. He says you can be fifty until you are eighty and more. I like that too.

He changed my life. And I am not even finished the book yet!

The Retrospective View of Life

2010-02-18T06:15:00.000-08:00

Fear is a survival instinct. In early times, it alerted us when we were in peril and protected us from harm. In modern day, our fear instincts alert us to the sound of footsteps that could endanger our survival and keeps us from going into places that could harm us.

But as we get older our self preservation instincts stop us from doing the things that could change our world. We fear an uncertain outcome (one that could be great) and we settle back into the safe, mediocre place where we reside. And yet our greatest regrets are the things we did not do. When I am 85 will I wish I had stayed at my job and not ever experienced my own gig. Probably not. And what about all the experiences and skills I will learn along the way. What if I create autonomy in my life that allows me to see and travel the world. Then it is worth struggling through the fear that threatens to hold me where I am. Even as I write the voice of fear says what if you do not succeed...

Just reviewing the walls I have walked around since I began. Progress has been slow because I was repeatedly stalled - no paralyzed by fear each time something did not work out. Having a mentor who has once been where I am now helps make the process real. She has expectations of my product that makes it far from trivial. She is hugely successful in the exact world where I will go, so her belief in what we are doing is founded in experience and knowledge. It helps me to confront my fears, dispel them and move past them. It moves me faster through this sequence. New skills.

Interesting that those who are near death, get a final hours perspective. Crystal clear visions of how it is. What you have. What you earn. Were you successful on the parameters that your world uses to evaluate you? It all doesn't matter. 'Did you use the years on Earth well' is the true measure of the time spent. We define the word 'well' deep inside of our own heart and mind. If we can hold on to the final hours perspective then it changes how we view things and it creates an almost tangible peace in the choices we make. We eschew the choices that do not resound in the final hours analysis. We need to summon the final hours perspective more often in our lives to crystallize what is real and what is meaningless. It changes what we do with each minute.

Details

2010-02-14T18:08:00.000-08:00

I will figure it out as I go. It actually feels quite natural now. I look forward and see the future. In the present I work away at the mundane details to get the product underway. These details are the underpinnings of the future. Not doing them guarantees there is no future. Not easy to focus on them. Want to dance in the future.

I know this is the discipline that ensures that the project goes forward. Endless ideas to expand in the future. Need to focus on now. In this altered view of things, the mountains are just little rocks that can be kicked aside. Each time something does not work out, I follow a new solution. Without fail, that new solution seems to create a better result than the method that was left behind. Sometimes it delays the project and buys me time to see what I could not when I was hurried. It is resulting in a better final product. Just need to get out of my own way and just let it happen.

Authenticity

2010-02-09T06:42:00.000-08:00

In his blog Harris III speaks of his goal of creating the perception of what he wants to be - a busy, in-demand professional...and in so doing he has spent his entire life managing and creating illusions. He does everything he can to create perceptions in people's minds of how he wants them to view him. He is an illusionist by trade but he analyzes how his trade has affected his life and his ability to be authentic.

My reflections on his thoughts. For the first twenty years you are figuring out what you would like to be like. For the second twenty years of life you do not even realize that there is an authentic self. You are working to create the perception of what you want people to see. Then for the next ten years you know there is more but it remains elusive. In your fifties it becomes clear and although you stray, you can easily identify when you are in an authentic place and when you are not. And when you are there it is so completely in harmony with who you are that you strive repeatedly to regain it. And eventually you become who you are rather than who you thought you should be. Imagine that.

I Will Figure It Out as I Go

2010-01-31T06:41:00.000-08:00

I am reading Jonathon Mead's ebook excerpt. It is profound and once again reminds me that nothing amazing is simple. He says three things at the end of Chapter 5.I have not quoted exactly but the ideas are his and they are profound.

Regularly push yourself out of your comfort zone. Always do what you are afraid to do. When you are working on a project and it seems like everything is difficult, keep going. If it was easy it would be ordinary not amazing.

Change your auto response. Instead of thinking "I don't know so I won't do that." Change your thinking to "I'll figure it out as I go." Just this small tweak to your inner conversation changes the way you look at things. It is true that everything that seemed hard looks easy in retrospect. If I look back at any daunting challenge of the past, the challenge seems trivial. It is because you grew to the challenge and Oliver Wendell Holmes says it best. "Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions."

Don't let not knowing keep you from taking action. Remember that paths are made by walking. Not knowing keeps me from acting. Kids act without knowing. They are spontaneous and interesting as a result. We admonish them for not weighing the consequences of their actions. But we can go too far in the weighing of consequences and never act. As adults we have learned to weigh the consequences and are trapped by it. Two extremes. Neither is optimal. Somewhere in the middle lies the path. Go look for it by acting.

Check out my blog at http://fiftyandalmostfabulous.blogspot.com/

The Brand

2010-01-30T04:02:00.000-08:00

When you work on something and then it starts to come together with a momentum of it's own it is quite amazing. Where I once toiled in anonymity, I now interact with several people to get the work done. When I am on my own I often regard the business and the idea as silly and privately question what I am doing. When I interact with others who think it is amazing, I move to their point of view and get down to work on it. Other companies with more mouths to feed than I survive on much less of an idea than this one. The sales group I am working on want to work with my product but want to know what our longer term plan is. Wants to make sure we are not just a "one hit wonder". They want to know the future of the brand. The brand. Although I have vague nebulous ideas about what is next,this forces me to clearly identify and evaluate the list. It is good for me. I wrote a Business Plan for the company and identified the short,medium and long term products that will be in our mix. It clarifies for me that there is a future with this line. It makes it real. Not just a game.

I am solving the issues associated with the product as well. What seemed an insurmountable issue now turns out to be quite simple to solve. While earlier it seemed as if another had to solve the issue, I now realize it is within my ability to make it work. How empowering that is.

Whenever this seems scary, I know that I have probably stepped outside of my comfort zone and I am growing. The feeling comes to me as "why am I doing this?" The urge to retreat becomes great. I have so long been an employee with a reasonably guaranteed future. To step off and own my own future and my own success is intimidating. To believe my new brand can support me for ten more years is a challenge to get my head around. Other people have done it with similar products. I have done it for other companies in my career. If anyone can do it, I certainly can.

I have never been responsible for the lifecycle of a brand. My brand. I feel silly when I refer to it like that. I need to come to terms with that. I am still having fun and that is how I evaluate every decision I am making. Can I work with that person and still have fun. Does that product fit within the brand and is it fun. I want to have fun now and I want to work with people with whom I am comfortable. I have a wonderful sales person who is enthused by the product and it's future. She will be the outward face of the company and she is happy to be that. That lets me be in the background moving the "brand" forward. I like that.

I am potentially aligning with a brand worth $5 million. They are reviewing the business plan but moving this along quickly as they identified that our brand was their next product. There is also another company who wants to represent us. They called today to meet on Monday. One gives me short term exposure with the loss of control. The other gives me long term transparency but possibly a little slower to market. The risk of someone copying my brand before I get out there is great. I need to get out there quickly now that the product is available and establish myself as the main brand offering that type of item. It is just a matter of being in all the stores before another. Who would know that my little idea would be so interesting to such established companies. It reminds me that this is a good idea and the product is a viable brand. I need to remember that.

Mysterious Ways

2010-01-22T18:04:00.000-08:00

When your mind seems idle, it is then that we solve all our outstanding dilemmas. Out of nowhere, an answer to an issue that has defied all logical problem solving methods, springs forward with no warning. It requires the mind to be quiet and not stressed with workload. On my walk. Listening to music. Reading uncomplicated material. There it is. The solution flows quietly into my brain. No Eureka. Just there. I hardly recognize it for what is. It was too simple after working so hard to find the answer.

Have confidence that a subconscious problem solving mechanism lurks beneath the surface. If we can get to that peaceful place the answer will spring forward unannounced and complete. The busy mind usurps it's power and renders it useless.But it is there for us to use. You will only know it is working by the results. It is not by chance that these thoughts arrive but through digesting the problem with a peaceful mind. Sometimes it will arrive as you lie in bed thinking of nothing. Or the answer will be there when you awake. Your brain actually generates 25 Watts of Power while you are awake enough to illuminate a light bulb. There must be something going on in there. Try it when you need a solution.

Pixie Dust

2010-01-22T14:42:00.000-08:00

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." I made a series of small steps and am once again on my path after a brief negative interlude. As I take these steps I am strangely successful beyond what I expect. Three times in the past day I have experienced results that exceeded my expectations. Low Expectations or Great Results? Nice feeling. I wonder what will be next! I have this feeling of everything temporarily falling into place on the project I am working on. Never has it felt so harmonious! Like it was meant to be. A phone call from a key person who should never have called. A handful of contacts who respond positively to my inquiries. A person who wishes to form a co-operative venture which will move my project forward. Strange swing from last post. Keep on stepping.

I am doing 5 things each day. It often becomes 10 things. Not just doing things, but doing the things that make a difference on the project. I am learning how to move forward no matter how I feel. It is an important distinction. I am at a growth point and I reject the urge to run back to my "easy" comfort zone.

I am rereading "As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen. He says that we become what we think about be it positive or negative. Am I creating this reality?

Mountains that Mold Me

2010-01-19T06:33:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was thinking big. Today I am thinking small. Walk away from the challenges. Maintain my status quo. A roller coaster. Probably because I am making a big step? A big financial step. One that will mitigate the incremental cash outlays that sum to a bigger number. But hard to give the go on the big outlay.
Intimidating.

I spoke to a friend yesterday and she said if you stop now you will be dissatisfied and if you go now and it doesn't work out you will be dissatisfied. Interesting dilemma. The reality is that I am inspired by the new projects and when they are not there, I am less excited by life. I do need a constant injection of stimulating ideas to keep me whole.

Interesting that when things look difficult,when you actually do them, they seem rather simplistic in retrospect. The dichotomy of the difficulty of a stimulating task. From that task arise all kinds of negative states within me. I see parts of me that do not surface when everything is easy. Is this conquering my demons or awakening parts that are better off asleep?

I have no answers. It is an ongoing growth that when it is happening you cannot observe the result. It is only in retrospect that you realize that the mountain molded the person and that we are better for having climbed it.

My Mind Goes Out for a Walk

2010-01-16T13:39:00.000-08:00

I started walking 2 miles a day for my body. I now walk 6 miles a day, everyday, for my mind.

I started as a way to work up to running again. I would run one walk one. Then on days where I did not feel like running I would go for additional distance. I worked up to six miles sometimes seven depending on how the mood strikes me. I had done interval training and weights for 2 years at the gym and then lost interest. So this was my next phase. Walking distance. It is all exercise and whatever that looks like doesn't matter. It is only that it gets done. If exercise is pleasure, I continue to do it everyday. If it is work, I avoid it. Simple as that.

When I walk/run, I sometimes listen to my IPOD and sometimes I just let the stream of consciousness take over. I carry a pad of sticky notes and a pen to capture follow up and ideas that occur to me in that fertile mental time. This time is fantastic for generating ideas and feeling a positive vibe. No matter how I feel when I start, I end up feeling pumped and optimistic.

If I listen to my IPOD I listen to motivational recordings. Powerful stuff if you make the right choices. Despite their focus on money there are two in particular that I listen to repeatedly. They are about creating your life as much as about creating wealth. If you get past the wealth thing, you gain valuable hints for recreating your life. Napolean Hill's "Think and Grow Rich" and T. Harvey Eker's "Secrets of a Millionaire Mind". They are both about elevating your game more than making money although they apply to both. I borrow them from the library, load them to ITUNES, then drop them onto my IPOD.

Exercise contributes to my mental and physical well being and that is a great return on investment.

Perfect Collision

2010-01-16T08:01:00.000-08:00

I received a birthday card from a friend and it said "Do You Remember when you were a Kid and You Wanted to Grow Up to be Something Special?" I watch my own teenagers now and they have incredible aspirations of what they will become! I love that. When I was a kid life happened to me. I did not make it happen or so it would seem in retrospect. My kids entertain possibilities that make my eyes widen at their chutzpah. Instead of showing my amazement, I take it in stride and help them to develop the first steps of the plan to get there. I encourage them to think big. To choose their destiny. If they shoot for the stars they will at least touch the moon.

I am creating my second childhood. I grew up in a time where you took what you could jobwise. There were just too many baby boomers. And then it proceeded from there. It wasn't bad. But it is at this point that I am defining my dreams and reaching for them. A delayed childhood. How fun that is. I am settled financially, my kids are ready to go out on their own, my health is good and I am defining my dreams. A perfect collision of circumstances. An endless list of possibilities!

Places to see and experience. Business to start. Books to read. Wine to drink. People to share. Races to run. Skills to learn. This is what I want to do with my time now.

Reality Undefined

2010-01-09T09:54:00.000-08:00

Nice house. Nice car. Nice kids. Nice husband. Good job. An uneasy feeling of having lapsed into mediocrity. Bought into the status quo. Lost my edge. Lost my sense of adventure. I fell into achieving on the standards of those that surrounded me. I lost my own barometer of satisfaction. Rewind. I hopped on a train and went out West with no job and no place to stay and one new friend who was willing to take the leap with me. The experience of a lifetime. I packed a knapsack and went biking from Vancouver to California then on to Hawaii with another adventurous friend. Amazing. I packed up the family when they were young and went to England to live for two years. Another injection of adrenaline. These are examples from a long list of highlights. I need to review that list and let it inspire me again. I need to change it up a little. I have bought into achievement as defined outside of me. I am not unhappy. In fact I am quite happy. Just restless. I am no longer clear on what my definition of achievement is. I just know that uneasy sense of living in someone else's reality. The right life. It is all a journey.

The art in todays blog is from Julie Carter. Check out her stuff.

Robin Sharma's Wisdom

2010-01-09T06:59:00.000-08:00

Robin Sharma wrote about 62 Ways to Make 2010 Your Best Year Yet There were some gems in that post. Here are my favorites from that list and my thoughts on each.

1. Take an intelligent risk every 24 hours. It made me make a call that I was procrastinating on and it provided a small breakthrough. And when I made the call that I was afraid to make there were no adverse consequences! Amazing.

2. Know Your Big 5: The five things that need to happen by the end of this year for you to feel it was your very best year yet. Good thought to identify that in advance. How many years go by one after another with a sameness that comes as a result of our quest for safety. I tried to list my Big 5 and ended up with a Big 7.

3. Be the Most Positive Person in every room you are in. When you work from your strengths you can be a positive influence in a room. When you compare yourself to others in a room and come up short (as you always will when you do that so don't do that)you work from a position of weakness and negativity. To be the positive influence, think of the things you bring to the room, get interested in other people's strengths and watch what happens.

4. Be a problem solver versus a trouble maker. Which are you? Do you stir up drama so you can be the centre of the story being written in that moment? Become the person who can dissipate and not participate in drama that others create. Rise above the chaos without condescension.

5. Be Patient. Slow and Steady Wins the Race. Nothing good happens overnight. Things happen as a result of working hard and smart. As a result of increasing your knowledge and aptitude in the areas you choose to follow. Patience.

6. Be Willing to Fail. It's the price of greatness. Tough one. Our adult lives are geared to avoid failure. So we do the things we already know we can do. We take fewer risks. Our world gets smaller. More predictable. Brings us back to "take an intelligent risk every 24 hours".

7. Consider that behind every fear lives your next level of growth. The thing that you are afraid to do is the thing that you must do. I think I am paraphrasing someone. I am afraid to make the phone call that could move the business forward. I make the call. It wasn't so bad. It moved the business forward. Powerfully simple.

8. Remember that the more you go to your limits, the more your limits expand. Back to the idea of living in a coccoon. Once again in our quest for a safe environment, we box ourselves in with limitations. One small change each day widens our scope and shows us who we can be. Expanding our limits feels victorious. Try it once. You will become addicted to the action associated with the expanding your limits!

9. Be obsessed with learning and self development. New skills expand your world. Your abilities. The people you interact with. The places you go to. The fears you move past. All good.

I am trying new things at an escalating rate and internally moving forward. Externally moving forward in smaller ways. The big ones I have yet to tackle. A job that is a less than optimal way to spend my time. A house that gives me some sort of strange social concept of status but requires me to work at a job that is a less than optimal way to spend my time. If I have 31.5 years left on this earth how do I want to spend it. That number gives me clarity and makes me realize that the 'things' that I have worked to own, to achieve and to do may no longer matter as much.

Think Big!

2010-01-03T07:43:00.000-08:00

I was out with a group of friends for dinner last week. One of the conversations stayed with me. I have a friend who just thinks big about everything he looks at. He does not have to make himself think big. He just does. He looked at the business I am working on and inflated it into something amazing. First of all he was very convinced that it was a good idea and secondly he expounded on ways to make it the next big thing. He even brought me over to his way of thinking big for that moment in time. Exciting.

I have since slipped back into my place where I think differently but safely. I loved the moment when I was there and thinking big. I could see all kinds of possibilities for the business even over and above the ones that he suggested. I felt enthusiasm to leave the restaurant and go make it happen! Priceless.

Now that I have been there, I seek to recapture the excitement of the conversation. By working on the ideas that came up that evening I can capture the essence of that moment. My heart races for a second when I can get to that place again. Potential just waiting for me to expand it.

I learned by being around this successful entrepreneur. I can be as big as I think I can be. I feel the brakes of self imposed limitations arise inside me when I have these expansive thoughts. I will learn to consciously release those brakes that I did not even realize were there. Thank you my friend.

Get Off The Sidewalk

2010-01-01T13:19:00.000-08:00

Jonathan Mead of Illuminated Mind used an amazing phrase that has changed my approach to the small choices I make every day. Those small choices form my large choices so they matter even if they are small. "Get Off The Sidewalk". I read but did not assimilate it until I was out doing my walk/run the next day. I was walking on the sidewalk and there was a path that veered off into the trees. I actually stopped moving to digest the significance and simplicity of the phrase. Guess what? I moved onto the path and ended up on a new route full of new things to experience!

Figuratively speaking, getting off the sidewalk is about living in new ways. it is about trying new things. Taking the less crowded path. The less predictable path. The less perfect and therefore less limiting path. Wow. Four little words to change your life.

I was alone on this beautiful path. If you are a regular reader of this blog, you will see why this is so symbolic. Always hesitant to take a different path. Always rewarded by the decision to do so.

Now I get off the sidewalk in small ways every day. I choose the choice that I would not have chosen when I am on autopilot. It means that I meet new people, try new foods and go new places. It means I resist the urge to do as I have always done. Sometimes I would rather be back on the sidewalk but overall the rewards far outweigh those moments. Usually when I am wishing to be back on the sidewalk, it is because I am being 'forced' to experience something new. I feel like a little window has opened in my mind and that light is sifting into a place where it was dark. Happy New Year!

10 Things To Create a Genuinely Happy New Year

2009-12-27T14:06:00.000-08:00

I am suddenly inspired to write multiple posts to this blog. I wonder if the end of the year has anything to do with it. Strangely we assess our progress most vigorously when the calendar year ends. We wonder how we are tracking on this years goals(if we remember them)and we set new ones for next year. We seek change but choose the path of least resistance.

If you are not enjoying life, it is time to recreate it. I thrive on change and constantly seek to evolve from where I currently am. Sometimes we lapse into a mediocre acceptance of what our lives have become. Fear is a constant barrier to creating change. Here are 10 good ideas for creating change in your life. it is what I do when the new year comes. This exercise helps to define for me how to incorporate change and evolution in different areas of my life.

1. Try something new EVERY day

It doesn't have to be life altering activity. Start small with small things. Read a new book. Go to a new place in your own city. Shop at a market instead of the grocery store. Mix a new cocktail. Run or walk a new route. It just shakes up your auto pilot a little and starts the creativity flowing.

2. Make a list of what is not acceptable in your life right now

I know we are supposed to be grateful and focus on the positive but in essence this point asks you to define the things you would like to change. Forget if they are too big to handle ie. I would like to change jobs/quit my job etc. Just list them until you get to all the things you would like to change. Relationships, freedom, responsibility to others, ability to see new places. Ask yourself what is not working in my life right now?

3. Define the things that make your heart sing

What do you experience that makes your heart feel like it could explode. Is it listening to amazing music; when you are running or walking on a great day; when you are watching a movie or chatting with the people you love to be around; when you are out in the sunshine feeling the world like there is no tomorrow; when you are reading a good book in a great place; when you experience a really good wine. What makes your heart sing? Identify them and make room for a heartsong every day.

4. Commit to doing some form of exercise each day

Make it something you can achieve on Day 1 and repeat on Day 2. You will not become a Victoria Secret model in 12 weeks. Just incorporate a half hour into each day wherever it fits and with whomever you choose. It not only gets your body in motion but it moves your thought to believe you can do anything! It gets addictive and after about 2 weeks you miss it when you miss it.

5. Pick 2 or 3 things

Short bold decisons. I will do this... Clear, achievable but just out of reach. Make sure that when you achieve them you will have grown through the process. Only 2 or 3. No more. This is meant to inspire you, not laden you with more tasks to complete. Choose two or three changes that when you make them, your life will be tangibly and perhaps visibly better.

6. Remove Self Imposed Limitations

No excuses. We are blue skying here. If money was no object what would I be doing next December? If I was not accountable to anyone else, what would I do with my time? Where and how would I live? How would I live each day? What would my perfect day look like? Dream Big.

7. Seek out online sites/blogs where people are pursuing/achieving the same goals

Bookmark them or subscribe to them to remove the need to find them each day. Gain strength from their journey and copy their actions. Seeing the actions others take gives you ideas for applying action in your own life. Just knowing there is someone on the road ahead of you can drag you over some major bumps in the road.

8. Three small actions

For each of your two or three ideas identify 3 small actions that will put you on the path. If you want to leave a negative job environment behind identify three steps to start the momentum. Identify the new company where you will share your experience. Investigate freelancing in your area of specialty. Identify the school that offers the learning opportunities that would make you better or allow you to pursue new roles. There. Three avenues of possibility. Three actions to take. When you complete those you are already further along the path to changing or evolving your newly emerging self. Define 3 more actions. Then do it again and again until you have arrived.

9. Feel your Flow

Achieving your intentions should flow. It should not feel like work. It should challenge you so that each challenge you meet gives you strength to create new challenges and confidence that you can attain these new challenges. You start with knowing that you can achieve your intentions, having an inspired confidence of where you will be when the year ends. Then you work towards that end. When you get off track you simply correct your path and keep going. I read somewhere that an airplane is off course and correcting 95% of the time when enroute to the next airport. That is probably real for people too so do not see getting off course as a reason to stop trying. Correct your path and keep going. Keep going.Flow.

10. Align your actions with your key values. My goals align with my desire for Authenticity in people and places in my life. My desire for Continuous Learning. There are more if you read my earlier post on this. This ensures that when you arrive, you will feel the harmony that exists in living a life that flows with who you are.

80/20

2009-12-27T08:50:00.000-08:00

Work Less. Worry Less. Succeed More. Enjoy More. It is in the title of a book by Richard Koch called "Living the 80/20 Way" but I think I would like it to be my Mantra. I am not a lazy person by any means. But I do look at how I spent the last 3 months of my life and I think that I need to change things up!

Koch says that 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts. Wow! That really makes you redefine the busy tasks that fill your days. It requires that you choose what is important and make sure that you do the things related to those important things first.

When you lose focus on your new goals it is usually because you are immersed in the minutiae that is everyday life. Revisit the big goal. Step back and renew yourself by redreaming the big goal. Really feel it. Then ask if the minutiae creates or is related to the goal. Seems impossible to eliminate all the little things. Start with some.

80/20 applies to all you do. Is it possible to slowly eliminate the 80% of your efforts that gives you 20% of your results. Reciprocally is it possible to refocus and expand on the 20% of what you do that gives you 80% of your results and probably 80% of your happiness.

Great theory. Tough to act on. Here is a thought on how to apply it. First define what is key in your life. New business. Stronger relationship. New job. Whatever it is to you. There might be two or three things. Just define them.

Then carve out time every day to move that goal forward. One act that is focused on that goal. I find when I do the one act that moves me in the direction of that goal, I feel motivated to do more things on the list. When I see progress on the goal, I feel enthusiastic engagement in the process of achieving that goal once again.

The banal task of making a list of next steps to the goal keeps the process in motion. But never lose sight of the goal as part of the 20% of your life's actions that keep you in your happy place.

Action Steps

2009-12-26T22:48:00.000-08:00

I need to clarify a new series of action steps on my goals. It takes the goals from being distant and dreamy and pushes me to attach an action to the attainment of those goals. "A goal without a plan is just a dream". Not sure who said that. Wise.

Two goals. One shorter term and one longer. Made a list of next steps for each. I want to enjoy the process though. I need to be careful not to turn the new project into another series of stressful steps to a required result. The goal is to enjoy the process and as I leave behind my current role and step forward, I want to preserve the fun and creativity that inspired the new role.

The shorter term project(small business) is already underway and has reached a stage of its development that will require me to do new things in order to move forward on it. Not a bad thing. But when executing on the required steps, the small distractions seem more important than the new things I have to learn. Maybe not more important but easier.

The second project(an interactive website) is still just a dream but I did some research tonight to check if it has already been done.

It is worthwhile to have an ongoing line up of new ideas. It keeps your optimism and excitement high. When you brainstorm the new ideas keep your list of what is important to you nearby. Check if the new idea allows you to be the person you want to become. if it does, it stays on the list. For future consideration. Most successful people say they had a series of failures before they found the one that worked. Keep on failing your way to success!

Clarity

2009-12-21T14:53:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I challenged myself with he thought that I had spent the whole year blogging about transition. I questioned if I had actually made progress. In his book Work Less Live More, Bob Clyatt speaks of an incubation period where it seems no progress is being made and then suddenly you break out and become the person who you were thinking about becoming. The implication that I am in a cocoon working my way out is an apt analogy. It makes me find peace and reduces the rush to display some outer world tangible sign of progress. I once again trust that my path is there and getting clearer. I trust the innate, invisible schedule that governs my progress.

Today I came across a saying "Imagination is the key to Freedom". Cool thought. It resonated with me. I want to imagine my way to freedom. It is interesting that when you begin you have to make an effort to imagine the scenario and work through it in absolute detail and colour to keep it real. Now when I think about the future it actually is real. I see myself moving toward a touchable goal. It is my destiny and it is just a matter of time. There is no if. Only when.

Metamorphosis

2009-12-18T04:48:00.000-08:00

In prior times it was called Mid Life Crisis and those who experienced it were viewed as ridiculous stereotypes that had simply gone off the rails. Now it is seen as a crucial stage of development that catapults you into the next stage of your life. It is a re-examination of all the attitudes and activities that fill your waking hours. We question our work, our relationships and our choices in our lives to date. With effort we can stand back from them and see if the choices we have made are congruent with the person we are becoming. Turn off the auto pilot of life and see things as they are. Our life choices often turn out to serve the person we were when we made that choice.

This new mid-life is tempered with a sense of optimism; a sense of infinite possibilities. In my mid life I feel a need to exist without catering to the expansive circle of those who, to varying degrees, rely on me. A freedom to uncover who I am when I am not who I should be. This is actually the beginning and all my life experiences to date have been preparing me for this moment of emergence. I feel a smile in my whole being.

Leap and the Net will Appear!

2009-12-13T08:06:00.000-08:00

I need to leap. I can spend another year in the safety of my paycheck or I can leap and trust that I will go forward. Any other time in my life when I have leaped, it has worked out. Not always in the direction I intended but it has definitely worked out. I feel the need to have a cushion to land on but building that cushion feels slow and I am ready to fly.
The end of the year is significant. It makes me confront the reality that I have been blogging on the subject for a year now. Safety or Freedom.
Interesting that there is nothing safe about Freedom. It is a choice of living always with a potentially unpredictable outcome. It is a choice of living with inconsistent income. Scary thought. My family relies on me for the good life!
Interesting how the very thing that I cling to is also the thing I would like to run away from. The predictability of life is both a goal and a fear! I crave new experiences yet I seek the safety of my day to day life. Is there a way to combine the excitement and safety. Maybe. And maybe after I take the step that puts me out there but maintains the path back, I will not ever want to return.
I am looking over the edge but I cannot see what is below. I commit to making my leap in 2010.

Marathon Woman

2009-12-04T16:33:00.000-08:00

There is a LottoMax commercial on television that shows a woman running through several different landmarks in the world including St. Marks Square, an African landscape, a beach and on the Great Wall of China. As a lifelong runner (in some shape or form) I was immensely attracted to that commercial, not for the lottery money, but rather for the idea of running through the very destinations that play in the background of my mind. Running and travel. A few of my favorite things. When a commercial appeals to you , you know that you are the demographic targetted by that product marketer. Reciprocally when you find a commercial that irritates, you know that you are not their target market. I am exactly the Lotto Max target market. I think they are targetting a new potentially lucrative market with this commercial. I am not a typical lottery target market. Yet I completely identify with that commercial. It is not the running part of it that will appeal to the masses but rather the opportunity to experience new places and things.

A marathon when I was 30 in Toronto. A marathon when I was 40 at Disney Orlando. I had planned to run the Great Wall when I turned 50 but life got in the way. Need to keep that on the list. Hmmm....May 15th, 2010. Might be just the injection I need to break out of my complacency. Life is waiting patiently for me.

Will I Love It? A Revelation of Insecurities

2009-11-27T15:07:00.000-08:00

I monitor numerous travel blogs and I love the writers' apparent lack of direction and ability to experience the moment. I love the exotic places and their seemingly effortless ability to 'get local' in whatever environment they happen to be in. I love to take photographs and I envy their freedom to create a picture that captures their moment.

I wonder if when given my wildest dream, is there a possibility that it could become my wildest nightmare. I have gotten posh and soft since my younger years of travelling on trains and living in dorms. Can I live communally aboard a sailboat in order to experience the journey? Can I live local? How do we define that word local? Are there multiple definitions and levels of living local? Do I know how to do nothing and just be in the moment anymore? What will take the place of the incessant list that scrolls in my mind? Will I mourn the life that I left behind? Maybe. I can always come back and do what I do now. Can't I? Will I? I cannot imagine going backwards but it reassures me as I look into an unplanned future.

There I think I inadvertently hit on it. Unplanned. My whole life is planned and predictable. Safe. A recurring theme in my blog is my fear of the unknown. Of change.

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." (Eleanor Roosevelt) Hmmmm.

Can I rediscover my authenticity under the layers of acquired adaptive behaviors? Maybe travelling can accelerate this process.
Will the money last? There is a lot of it but truly I am unaware of what it would take to be a nomad full time. I am not a backpacker/camper/sleep with a pile of students kind of person but I have discovered ways of travelling that are none of these yet within budget.

I am 10-15 years from retirement so really this is a decision to retire if I go now. But there are ways to create a meaningful, lucrative retirement should I decide to come back.

There. I have laid all my insecurities in writing. Very therapeutic. Illuminating.

Location Independence

2009-11-25T15:54:00.000-08:00

What a concept! Working to provide your income stream from wherever you happen to be. It seems that lots of people do it both through freelancing or working for a company that does not require you to be in an office but just to generate work flow. What about remote entrepreneurship? Interesting idea if you can put the business on auto pilot and be free to move and experience while you check in from afar. Is it possible? From reading too many online blogs it would seem you can eke out a moderate to a quite lavish lifestyle while maintaining your freedom to be where you choose.

As I come to the close of my busiest work season, I realize that what I give right now to my company taxes my sanity and my good spirit. I work long hours right now with an expected refund in January and February. But you cannot refund your health and the times missed with family. So how can I make the leap. I remain dependent on the income my job provides and wonder at the same time if I live up to my income.

Am I able to leave work and make a lifestyle that nurtures me? My investment divisor is 31.5 meaning that at this age I have 31.5 years left to live. 31.5 years...what do i want to fill those years with.

Gary Vaynerchuk speaks vehemently on liking what you do for a living. He says that if you dislike your job 1% you need to find something else to do. How about if you dislike your job about 50% and the other 50% that you enjoy is the downtime when you spend the least amount of time on the job!

Location Independence sounds amazing. Gotta go there.

Early Victory

2009-11-08T18:04:00.000-08:00
Ten out of fifteen stores who were presented the product said yes so far. Three days in we have our first reorder from an amazing store and an amazingly supportive woman. She sold eight of her ten items. Now I just need to figure out how to make the product profitably. That is my next big step. Early numbers say it is possible to make money on this.

Breakthrough again!

2009-11-01T05:46:00.000-08:00

Interesting that I began selling the new product this week and I am definitely excited to see how it is received by the stores and then if the consumer is willing to exchange cash for my product. Because I work full time right now I hired a sales person to execute on this for me. Stay tuned on results. This is the moment of truth after all the weeks of preparation.

My next dilemma was that I was not sure that I could make money selling the product. And if not, then it is not a relevant step on my path to autonomy and freedom. The cost of product was too high and the retail price point was fixed as it was an variation on an existing product. And then I did that "10 solutions brainstorm" on the problem. It included things like raising the price, shipping out of a printer in California who was slow to quote and reply. (red flag) It included going to a trade show to scout alternatives for printing and then the breakthrough solution came.

I have always been wary of shipping out China but I went online to globalsources.com and alibaba.com and registered and requested quotes on my product. The early ones are coming in at .32 per unit versus the $8.00 I am currently paying! Need to investigate a little more. I have a friend who brings product from China and I will request that her contact checks out my possibilities. All of a sudden the project is feasible again!

Business possiblilities and adventure. It satisfies two of my goals. Interesting how when each step of the process is difficult I pull back and think "it is not going to work." And now I know to keep looking for solutions. I recommend that you brainstorm solutions with a friend. Two brains multiply your results exponentially. I am not there but I am on a new path that feels like it may resolve the issues. I wish I could stay in North America but if I do I will not be able to continue.
Here is what I learned in this lesson. The little voice in the back of my mind works against me to discourage me and keep me staus quo. Safe and settled. How easily we choose safety over adventure and potential happiness. This new road feels daunting in the face of a series of new challenges that I have yet to define. One foot in front of the other. If you view the whole task it looks like a mountain. If you look at the next step it is easy. My mountain is production in Asia...HUGE. My next step is to contact my friend who is already producing in China about the project....EASY.

10 Possible Solutions

2009-10-21T16:04:00.000-07:00

The lure of the warm climate increases as November looms. I am invigorated by my plan to change my scene. A small voice chatters in the back of my head about what if...What if I don't like the travel idea once I am doing it. Adjusting to living in England was hard at first. What if the money does not last? What if I am bored by not working after a lifetime of looming deadlines and list filled days?

The answer could lie, as it often does, in "a solution brainstorm". Freely brainstorm a list of 10 possible solutions for the issue. Do not stop until you get to 10. Then pick one off the list and try it. If it does not work, pick another one and try it....you get the idea. Keep going and eventually one of your solutions will either solve the issue or take you to a new place where the issue is no longer relevant.

So, if I find that I do not like to be lying on the beach reading every day in Fiji, then I brainstorm 10 things I would rather be doing and then do one of them. Problem solved.

Is life about experiences and living and testing limits? There is a woman who rowed the Atlantic Ocean. She said she had left behind a 'perfect life'. One statement she made touched me in particular. She said that she bought an expensive house close to work and then had to work to afford her expensive house. A vicious circle. It gave me insight into how we step into a never ending, continually escalating spiral of attainment and achievement.

There is no exit on a spiral. It does not end unless you jump off. That is scary. So, if you jump and it turns out to be less than fulfilling then what happens next? You brainstorm 10 new ways to create fulfillment where you are and you pick one.

We choose feeling secure over happiness. Status quo and mediocrity over the great unknown. Trust yourself. Jump. There is so much more to live.

A Preview of Life's Coming Attractions

2009-09-27T16:03:00.000-07:00

I want to put up a description of my future scenario so that when I achieve it I will look back and go WOW I did it!

So here it is. My three year plan. (Reduced the timeline from the five year plan) I have created a reasonably successful business so that I have income coming in to support my lifestyle. Trivia Party Starters. Maybe. When winter comes, November or late October, I head to warm places. Choices include a condo rental on the beach at Madeira Beach, Arizona or Hawaii (Kona is my first love). I prefer the beach. My pleasure is to spend two hours a day walking/running on the beach with Audi. Then go for coffee at the local coffee shop. I have a Blackberry and a laptop and a Kindle to stay in touch with everything/everyone. I will work at the business for two hours a day and have one person here in Guelph to keep the business day to day. I will spend 3-4 months there and then go to Europe and rent by the sea for a couple of months a year. (It is surprisingly cheap to rent monthly in the small towns far from the maddening crowd.) Drink wine in the places where wine was born and read endless books on Kindle while watching the water. Tour around on a bicycle and enjoy the culture. Train it to Paris or Rome for a couple of days. Spend summer at the cottage. Not sure if Sandra would rent the cottage out for two months June and July.

I am doing my PhD online through Walden U and enjoying the content immensely.(Psychology)

I travel to China and teach English for a semester or two. I build a house with Habitat for Humanity. Spend a week at Kilimanjaro and climb to the summit. Three days at the North Pole to see the Northern Lights. The pyramids in Egypt and a hike through the Sahara. Descend into a shark cage and see them up close and personal. Take yoga classes in Asia. Cooking lessons in Thailand, Greece, France and Italy. Running on the Great Wall of China. Learning to sail in the Mediterranean.

I have a philanthropic side to the business that helps educate young girls in third world countries so they do not get married so young. I feel good about that and the more product I sell, the more girls who will attend school and find out who they can be.

It is all possible and affordable on a normal income if you can be mobile and still earn that income. The other thing I think about is missing friends and family and I know they will come over to share these amazing moments with me. And I will be back regularly to share simple times. I will send my kids a ticket while they are in University to join me where the mood strikes them.

Sounds like the impossible dream. When you do the math it does not seem impossible. This blog entry becomes my roadmap. Napolean Hill says "Your burning desire is nothing more than an accurate picture of what you will one day become". Einstein says that "Imagination is the preview of life's coming attractions". This is what I will one day become. I have already begun the trek but the road ahead is still foggy and the destination not obvious to me. But I am moving step by step.